


The Taking

by toggledog



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Deathly Hallows Fix, M/M, Not Epilogue Compliant, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-12
Updated: 2014-09-26
Packaged: 2018-02-08 12:56:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 9
Words: 26,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1941984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/toggledog/pseuds/toggledog
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lucius Malfoy does not have a good time in Azkaban. When he is finally released, Snape has to contend with his now damaged lover, as well as his guilt over the loss of his 'great love' Lily.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I posted this on another site a few years back. I've recently been re-reading all of the HP books and decided to fix it up and repost it here (hopefully, this time, I'll actually finish it). Warnings for violent rape and abuse.

Lucius's grey eyes scanned the small, dank cell, mouth sneered with obvious distaste, before turning to the men behind himself.  
"This is utterly unacceptable. I insist on a bigger cell."  
The officers laughed and slammed the door shut.  
"The door will open at 7am, your Holiness." One spoke through the bars, while the other sniggered.  
Lucius raised a brow. "We're free to walk around?"  
"Of course. Just don't try to escape. You won't get far."  
"I demand now to-"  
The two men walked away.  
"How dare you! Come back here!"  
Lucius rushed up against the bars and looked out. The man opposite, a repulsive being with a shaved head and black, rotten teeth, was staring at him.  
"Problem, pretty?"  
Lucius inwardly shuddered and moved away from the bars. His cell was about three feet by six. A tiny bed was bundled at one corner, a toilet in the other. A constantly refilling bowl of water sat by the cot, plain soap beside it. Lucius made a mental note to write to Narcissa for supplies, particularly soap. He didn't want any of that revolting substance roughing up his skin.  
He tentatively touched the mattress, then recoiled. Did they really expect him to sleep on this? It was hard as a brick and had suspicious off-white stains on it. When his idiot of a lawyer got him out, he would sue anyone even vaguely related to the 'incident' for every penny, including that idiot Dumbledore, who had trumped up the charges to begin with. Conspiring with the Dark Lord? Attempted murder? Physical assault? What nonsense! He started to pace, dust billowing up around his robes.  
Once he got out, he endeavored to get back at the old fool the best way he knew, financially. He'd make that damned school a hole in the ground! Then he'd build a new one. A better one. Sev could teach there, with proper students, not the dunderheads he was used to.  
Lucius stopped, running a hand through his hair. By Merlin's beard, he was relieved Sev wasn't here. Not that he could be, of course. It would arouse too much suspicion.  
It often amused Lucius, how good the man was at playing all angles. He knew Sev continued to play both Voldemort and Dumbledore until the side that looked like it was going to win became more obvious. Lucius liked to think he could attain the same victory. However, he realized he was mistaken.  
This was why he was in this cell and Sev wasn't.  
He had failed.  
Lucius sat down heavily on the edge of the bed.  
He had failed the Dark Lord, which meant someone was going to pay. Severus had guaranteed him that Draco would not be the one.  
That had been the night before the big attack, when Sev had snuck away from the school to be with him. They had made fast, furious love, then sat together, each holding a glass of firewhisky. Beyond the sex, Lucius often felt the Potions Master was the only one who understood him, who he could speak to freely. Not even Narcissa, his trophy wife, could fathom their relationship, instead leaving them be and entertaining herself with a variety of lovers. Lucius didn't much care.  
"Draco will come to no harm. I will guarantee that, Lucius."  
"Don't talk this way, Sev. We will succeed."  
Severus had simply regarded him with his wondrous black eyes, which always spoke volumes.  
 _You won't succeed, Lucius._  
Of course, he had been right. He was always right.  
Lucius lay to his side on the bed, perched awkwardly on the edge, pulling up the blanket to cover his slim frame.  
He endeavored to sleep, but found it difficult, only to have snatches of dreams. In one, Severus pointed a wand at Dumbledore and uttered the killing curse, in another, Draco was taken away by a werewolf.  
The morning didn't come quick enough for him.

One of the first lessons Lucius learnt was that the guards were very adept at ignoring. As soon as his cell door opened, and the prisoners piled out, he found the nearest officer he could and demanded that he be moved to a bigger cell. The man had stared straight ahead, face impassive. Not wishing to embarrass himself further, Lucius went to another guard, only to suffer the same treatment.  
"No luck?"  
A large prisoner regarded him with interest. Lucius swept a disapproving eye over him, then turned his back to him.  
As soon as they reached the 'dining room', dozens of circular tables each seating a dozen prisoners, Lucius swept the room for his friends. No women, he noted. They were obviously separated. Lucius thought of Narcissa surrounded by such ruffians and was grateful for it.  
"They separate friends. You won't see yours here. They'll be in a completely different part of the prison."  
The large prisoner now had half a dozen or so friends with him. One was the rotten-toothed man who had been eyeing him the night before.  
"Please refrain from speaking to me." Lucius swept away and looked for a place to sit. He finally decided that a nerdy-looking, bespectacled wizard to the far right looked promising enough. Lucius ambled over.  
"Don't sit here!" the man slammed a hand down, causing Lucius to jump. Lucius eyed him a moment. If he had his wand, he could best this man in an instant. Well, you don't, he told himself. Besides, magic was not allowed, unless one wanted severe punishment. He had been informed of the rules when he arrived. Ever since the Dementors had left, they were more lenient on the prisoners, allowing them to leave their cells, building a dining room, in an attempt to clear some of the bad name of the prison. The freedom they enjoyed was at the cost of no magic. Lucius felt this to be fair.  
"Sit here." A wizard with long straggly grey hair pulled out a chair. Lucius gracefully sat.  
The group of half a dozen or so surrounding him was a motley sort, ranging in ages from thirty to about seventy, from brunettes to redheads to blondes. The only thing in agreement between them was, in Lucius' mind, their obvious lack of class and looks. He would degrade himself by sitting with these 'men' for one day, he told himself.  
Lucius saw what the others were eating and sighed. "Shepherd's pie."  
He looked to the food before him, with some distaste. Did they truly expect him to eat this nonsense?  
"I know you." A big-nosed redhead. "You're Lucius Malfoy, aren't you? From the Ministry of Magic?"  
Lucius frowned at his food.  
"I knew it was you!"  
The others appeared to look at him with interest.  
"Oh yeah, you're the jerk!" Another spoke up. The men at the table roared with laughter.  
"You're said to be a powerful wizard."  
Lucius had to restrain himself from rolling his eyes.  
"They were right about one thing," a buggy-eyed blonde said. "He's certainly got class, a lot more than any of us ruffians."  
Lucius took a bite out of his pie and resisted the urge to gag.  
"You'd be used to the finest, wouldn't you?"  
"Have you seen the family? Beautiful wife and son."  
"Please refrain from talking about them in my presence!" Lucius snapped. The table laughed once more.  
"How about we talk about you, then?" The big-nose spoke up again. "See, I hate aesthetes-"  
"Now, now, Kevin." The grey-haired man put a hand up. "It's not Lucius' fault that he has more money and power and... yes, beauty than we can ever expect."  
"Forget it, Kevin." The one from the table opposite who had refused to let Lucius sit down called across. "He's involved in passing the very laws stopping you from gaining a foothold in life."  
"Don't be ridiculous!" Lucius spat. "Whatever happened to personal responsibility?"  
He was feeling a weird fluttering in his stomach he couldn't understand.  
"Come now, I invited Mr. Malfoy to this table. Let's not fight now." The grey-haired man put his hand up in an attempt at reconciliation. The boy continued to glare at Lucius.  
"I used to be a janitor at the Ministry. I'd see you sometimes, so haughty."  
"Kevin-" The grey-haired man warned.  
"I had to deliver a message once. Do you remember? You opened your office door. By Merlin's beard, you were so beautiful and powerful. I was utterly tongue-tied. I just handed it to you, then bolted."  
Lucius cast his mind back. He vaguely recalled the incident.  
"And now here you are. One of us." Buggy blonde said.  
"Rose amongst the thorns." Another said and laughed.

The men did not bother him more until he had retreated to his cell. He had opened one of the only half a dozen books he had been permitted to take with him, when the Buggy blonde and Big-nosed redhead appeared in his cell door. Lucius put down the book.  
"Yes?"  
Buggy blonde closed the door behind them and looked out. "We don't have much time," he whispered to his friend.  
Big-nose smiled and stepped across the room to stand before Lucius, who likewise stood. The fluttering in his stomach had returned and increased tenfold.  
"It's very simple," Big-nose spoke slowly. "Things work a certain way here. My friend and I wish to have you. Either you surrender, we fuck you. Or you don't. We beat the shit out of you, we fuck you. Either way it ends up with my hard cock shoved up that undoubtedly beautiful ass of yours."  
Lucius felt his heart start to hammer. How dare these idiots threaten to rape him!  
"I would like to see you try it."  
The boy surprised him with a lucky glance across his cheek, but Lucius was prepared. He swung back, surprised at his agility. He always put his faith in magic over physical brutality, thinking it to be utterly inelegant. But as he and the boy started to grapple, throwing kicks and punches, he found himself quite adept.  
Then the other one jumped on him. He found himself start to weaken. He tried one last flurry of kicks and hits, even tried biting. But with two landing blows, it was difficult to know which direction to even start.  
Bruising arms forced him over the mattress, a cock placed before his mouth, as his prison robes were pulled up, his pants were torn down. Lucius spat, only to be knocked hard across the face once more.  
"Let's see what you can do with those pretty lips of yours."  
 _No, this doesn't happen to me! This doesn't!_  
And then the quick rush of the cell door opening, his attackers being pulled off him. Initially, he thought the officers had saved him.  
"You tricked us! You tricked us!" Buggy-eyed man said.  
Lucius looked up to his savior. It was the grey-haired man. With the group he had initially refused in the dining room.  
"New alliances, for new meat." The grey-haired man shrugged. Lucius barely heard this as he shakily pulled his clothes back to order. He wiped at the blood on his face.  
"But you can't-"  
"We've paid for the privilege." The grey-haired man gestured to the officer, walking past. Again, these words dissolved in Lucius' mind, as one hand reached for his face. He flinched away.  
"They certainly did a number on you." The man sighed.  
"Now scram!"  
"We'll get you back-"  
"Just shut up." The grey-haired man reached Lucius. "Are you all right?" he asked gently.  
Lucius shook his head. "Those imbeciles were attempting to violate me! Of course I'm not all right."  
"Well, you're all right, now," another spoke up.

Over the next few days, as Lucius' bruises healed, it became known around that area of the prison that he was part of the 'Handuri Gang'. Lucius asked the grey-haired man, Joe, what it meant. He had shrugged and said it was simply a name. It seemed the grey-haired man had also changed allegiance, which one of the members informed Lucius was good for the gang, as the man held much sway. Lucius sat with them during meal times and disappeared to his cell after. He didn't shower, too mindful of his recent attack. The attackers occasionally passed him the odd look, but otherwise didn't even attempt to talk to him.  
And so it was, after a week, when Lucius' bruises were mostly faded and he was able to move without pain, he came to his cell to find the entire dozen members of the gang within it, sitting on the bed, on the floor or standing languidly against the bars.  
"Yes?"  
Joe stepped up to him. "Time for initiation, Lucius."  
He nodded. There had been vague comments for the past few days about this, though he had no idea what it meant.  
"We've been kind to you, until now, until your bruises and swelling had gone down."  
Lucius felt a knot form in his stomach.  
"We wanted you to be beautiful again. It's so much better to destroy a thing of beauty."  
The knot went to Lucius' throat. He cleared it, attempted to speak. When he did, his voice didn't sound his own.  
"What do you propose?"  
The men laughed.  
"Come now, Lucius. Do you really expect a thing of your beauty and power to come in here and not get the fucking it needs on a regular basis?"  
Lucius' mouth and eyes widened in utter surprise, his body stilled.  
"We are all too eager to cater to that need. Unless, of course you want to be thrown to the other prisoners."  
"Three hundred in this area," one man piped up. "You wouldn't last a day."  
Lucius stilled his trembling hand. "So you're saying you're going to rape me, to save me from the others?"  
"Knew you weren't dumb." Joe smiled. Lucius considered his options.  
"Fine." He blushed. "I will... pleasure you. And only you." He couldn't believe he was agreeing to this.  
"No, we all do you, in any way we please."  
"Then it's-"  
He gasped as he was suddenly grabbed by the throat and thrown down onto the bed, a dozen hands tearing at his clothes. He remained stoic throughout, biting his lip as mouths and hands claimed his body, teeth digging into his shoulder, his hip bone, his inner thigh. They turned him onto his front and forced him onto his hands and knees. Joe kneeled before him and shoved his cock out. It veered to the left and already spit precum.  
"No, I refuse-"  
But fingers digging into his face, forced his jaw open. He felt it enter his mouth, go down deep into his throat.  
"That's it, pretty, take it all."  
He started to choke, then scream as he was roughly entered from behind.  
"So tight..."  
The man behind thrusted, tearing the delicate membranes with every harsh movement and jolting his body. In his agony, he tried to move away, only to have bruising hands hold him in place. The man continued his cruel action, matching his rhythm with the man fucking his mouth.  
"Take it, take it, take it, slut!"  
After what seemed an eternity, the one behind him pulled him back further and cried out like a wild animal, his cock spasming inside him.  
Seeing this, Joe abruptly pulled out from his mouth and shot his load all over his face.  
"Was that tasty enough for you, Lucius?"  
The next one wanted him on his back, legs pulled up against the other's chest. Another climbed on Lucius' own chest. As he was forcefully entered for the second time, Lucius was horrified to feel tears running down his face, to hear whimpers he couldn't hold in, no matter how he tried.  
He hadn't cried since he was ten.  
When his Mother had died.  
"Aw, he's crying!" Mock compassion sounded.  
"Can't handle it, baby?" One said and laughed. The others sneered around him.  
Lucius inwardly vowed to take bloody revenge on every man in this room.  
The one on his chest ran a hand down his face. He cringed away from the surprisingly gentle gesture, at odds with the other one roughly fucking him.  
"Didn't realize you'd be so delicate," the man said, then shoved his cock into Malfoy's mouth.  
It was after those two finished and two more entered him that two officers passed. They would have heard his cries, would have heard the name-calling, the laughter, the grunts and graphic language in the rapes, themselves.  
The two continued past.

Tbc...


	2. Chapter 2

He lay curled in a ball on the bed, arms wrapped around his thighs, unable to describe to himself the events of the hours before. Not even the word 'attack' was tolerable, in his mind. Sure, he had been attacked magically before, but he was always able to gain the upper hand.  
But this...  
The... what had happened... ceased when a rather delightful clanging sound rang through the prison, signaling all to return to their cells. As the last of the men left his cell, still laughing, Lucius lay, unmoving. Some taunted him on his 'performance', as they walked out, promising that next time would be better. He didn't look up, refused to be baited. It's over, he told himself. At least you survived it. He wasn't sure if that was a good thing.  
Malfoy crawled to his torn robes, his attempt to redress himself made difficult by his trembling hands. He didn't wish to look at his body, to ascertain exactly what they had done. That would make it real to him. Easier to make the pain abstract, separate himself from it, as he had done during the ordeal.  
As much as he longed to forget, to deny, flashes pounded his brain, elusive pieces of the whole, like a mis-matched jigsaw puzzle. Most of the prisoners had been furious, using their teeth and fists to harm him.  
The ones that were gentle, they were worse. They moved slowly, as though making love instead of tearing him apart. They kissed and sucked on his neck and ears instead of biting. Their hands, instead of slapping or punching, moved tenderly over his body.  
When they spoke, it was with such tenderness, rather than the vulgarity of the others.  
"Sh...It's ok....Don't cry..."  
"Am I hurting you? I'll go slower."  
"You're so beautiful. I wish I could take you away from these other monsters."  
This change from outright violence only served to confuse him even more. One of them even kissed his cheek as he left, thanking him.  
Lucius considered his options. It seemed that he couldn't move without pain flaring from everywhere on his body, particularly...  
He rushed to the toilet just in time, emptying the contents of his stomach, then began dry heaving. It was as though his body was attempting to deposit his entire inner lining in there. He collapsed, shaking and wiping his mouth.  
What could he possibly do about... about what they had done? Lucius had contacts on the outside. Perhaps he could persuade them to locate any family members of these men, threaten them with harm. However, would that be prudent? Perhaps not. They were right. One misstep and he would undoubtedly be thrown to the others and suffer even worse. He didn't have the resources to locate information on all the men in here. Even if he did, he doubted it would make any difference. The fact was, he was still in here. Knowing what kind of men these were, they either wouldn't care if their family members suffered harm, or would hurt him even worse.  
Besides, did he really have friends on the outside? Truly? The Death Eaters would be told he was out of the loop. His other contacts would disown him now he was no longer a 'productive' member of the wizarding world. Who did that leave?  
Soft whispers and footsteps up the hall informed him of the arrival of the second set of officers to start work for the night. The two stopped at his cell, peering in. The younger gasped. He looked familiar to Lucius. However, in his current frazzled state, he couldn't place him.  
Lucius cleared his throat. "I must go to the infirmary."  
The older of the officers laughed. "And why would we take you there?"  
For a moment, Lucius could only stare. "Why do you think, you idiot? I have been injured! Take me to the infirmary now, or suffer the consequences."  
"It's ok." The younger officer reached for his keys.  
"Marcus!" The elder warned. "He's fine."  
The young officer's hand froze.  
"We don't get involved."  
"But-"  
"Let's move on."  
The younger officer looked back to Lucius, a frown touching his lips, before turning away once more and following the other down the hall. Lucius let them go, in despair as to what to do. To lose absolute control over himself, over his own freedoms and body was utterly unfathomable. That he had let it happen! No, he wouldn't think of that. Only snatches of images kept replaying repeatedly in his mind.  
What to do?  
There was one solution. A resolution that made sure no one touched him again.  
No, that was utterly absurd. He needed to stay alive. If only long enough to enact vengeance on these bastards.

For the next two days, he didn't bother going out of his cell , instead attempted to read, to plot. Mainly, he attempted to not think about the attack of the days before. Around lunchtime of the second day, Joe paid him a visit. He waltzed in and sat at the edge of the bed, where Lucius was curled up. Lucius instantly stood up, putting as much distance between himself and the man in the cell as possible.  
"Yes?" His heart was thumping merely from this man's presence. Get a hold of yourself! he berated himself internally. Lucius folded his arms and leant against the cell bars, in an attempt at some dignity.  
"You're healing well. That's good. In a week's time, you'll be transferred to the cell of Jim and me."  
He caught Lucius' puzzled look.  
"Big guy. Wavy brown hair."  
Ah... so that's the one...thinks he's the leader of that ridiculous wizard band Draco so loves... Lucius shook his mind of thoughts of his son.  
"You'll be under our protection, which means the others won't touch you. And yes, that means other members of our gang. They had one shot at you. They won't get another. Unless you displease us, of course. Then, who knows, we might be in the mood to share."  
Lucius closed his eyes. By Merlin's beard, he was going to be sick. What did you expect? he told himself. It could be worse. They could attack you in the fashion of earlier.  
"While you're with us you will not only satisfy our... sexual needs, you will also keep the cell clean, do our washing and do any other errand we ask of you."  
 _How dare they!_ A flash of rebellion rose to the surface.  
"You may do as you please with my body, I can accede to that. However, I refuse to submit to any of your other ridiculous demands! Have you forgotten who I am?"  
Joe laughed. "In here? No one. Like I said, you will 'accede' to us, or we throw you to the others. And I can tell you, they won't be as ah... accommodating. Nice long word for you."  
Lucius inwardly crumpled, though his face remained stoic. So, this was his choice. No choice. To be treated worse than a house elf.  
The man stood up. "And another thing, we'll expect a little more involvement when we take you. Fucking you was like fucking a dead fish. Very unsatisfying. It'd better not happen again."  
He walked to the cell door. Lucius stood to the side to let him through.  
"You'd better hope I never get out," Lucius spoke through the bars. "Because if I do, your family, your friends, your pets, your house elves, anyone you have ever had an even passing relationship with will suffer terrible deaths. I'll make sure of it."  
Momentary hesitation crept into the brown eyes, then swiftly cleared. "I'd make sure people knew exactly what I made the great Lucius Malfoy do. That he became nothing more than my whore. Maybe they'd believe me. Maybe not. But it would be a great story, don't you think?"  
Lucius felt the blood drain from his face. Joe smirked, then walked jauntily off.  
 _No, not that. Anything but that. No one should know._

He couldn't consider what Narcissa, or Draco...

I'll be good, he thought miserably. Just don't let Draco know.

 

"Mr. Malfoy? Sir?"  
He blearily opened an eye. A figure stood over him, gently shaking his shoulder. Lucius groaned, flinched away. He had managed to gain a few hours sleep finally and now was being forced awake.  
"Yes?" He said impatiently, opening his other eye. The figure before him focused, to reveal the young officer who had accosted him earlier.  
"If you would come with me, sir."  
Lucius slowly rose to a sitting position the bed, wrapping his torn robes around himself.  
"What is this about?"  
"If you would come with me, sir."  
Lucius raised a brow. "Is it absolutely necessary?"  
The boy nodded. Lucius noticed he barely looked him in the eye. Interesting. In his hands, the young man held what appeared to be a new set of prison robes.  
"I'm assuming they're for me."  
The young man nodded and stood back. Lucius considered his options. Obviously, this man was determined he follow him to who-knows-where. He considered the one before him, who shuffled from foot to foot, seeming uncomfortable under the scrutiny. He didn't appear harmful.  
"I wish to help you, sir."  
"Where are you taking me?" He demanded.  
"To the officer's bathroom. You can clean yourself up. I've also got some bruise and cut repair potion in there."  
Lucius didn't need to use legilimency to know the kid was telling the truth.  
"Lead on," He instructed him. The young man secured chains to his hands with practiced efficiency.  
As he was led out of the cell and past the sleeping inmates, the boy started to talk.  
"I'm really sorry about earlier today, sir. I'm new to this job and the others, they just don't care what the prisoners do to each other." He paused. "I'm really sorry about what they did to you."  
They turned the corner.  
"I don't know if you remember me. I used to go to school with Draco. I was head of the Quidditch team."  
 _Oh, so that's who this is._ He recalled buying brooms for the team in Draco's second year.  
"Here we are."  
They reached a locked door at the end. Lucius waited patiently as Marcus fished for the key. He wondered if Marcus realized what was obvious to him, that Draco had a crush on his team captain. It was obvious from the way he talked about him. He recalled Narcissa admonishing him for his worry.  
"Draco won't even admit it to himself, Lucius! He's certainly not going to have an affair with the boy."  
The next storage room rushed past in a blur, filled with chairs, tables, paints and other odd memorabilia. Lucius even spied an old wizard-o-phone in the corner, a stack of records piled up beside it. Marcus took out a second key for the door at the end and placed it in the lock, uttering  
"Cockroach Cluster! Password," he explained. Lucius resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Just like that damned Dumbledore. Severus had once told him it was easy to get into the Headmaster's office. Just pick his favourite lolly for the week.  
The next room was painted a tacky glittery silver, multicoloured fish and octupus darting along the walls, attempting to escape the sharks and whales occasionally moving in for a munch. A large heart-shaped tub sat in the centre, bright orange ornate taps displaying winking mermaids and mermen, one of whom, upon seeing the two men enter the room, removed her brassiere and giggled. Marcus glanced to Lucius apologetically, catching his sneer.  
"It isn't what you're used to..."  
"Better than nothing, I suppose." He sighed, walked to the tub and turned on a couple of the taps. Green and blue intermixed liquid gushed out of one, purple and yellow bubbles from the other. Lucius fiddled with the dials until they reached temperature that he wanted. It didn't take long until the tub was filled enough for him to get into. He looked to Marcus.  
"Would you mind turning around?"  
"I'm sorry..." Marcus's earlobes had suddenly turned scarlett in colour. "I have to keep an eye on you. You might go for my wand while I'm not looking."  
Lucius laughed condescendingly. "Where will I go? I doubt I'd get far in this place. I admire your confidence in my abilities."  
"Even so..."  
"Fine." He wasn't in the mood to argue. Marcus reached over, undid the cuffs, and respectfully stepped back. Lucius slipped into the multicoloured, bubbled water fully robed. Once secure under the soothing warm water, he removed the robes and placed them by the side. Marcus reached over and picked them up, then stepped back once more.  
Lucius closed his eyes, allowing the liquid to ease his frigid muscles, to cleanse his dirtied flesh. On the rim of the bath, he spied a scrub brush. He grabbed it and took it to his skin, scrubbing until his flesh was red, and peeling, until he reopened healing wounds. Marcus took a deep breath but said nothing.  
It wasn't working. He couldn't remove them from himself. They were imbedded deeper than his flesh. In frustration, he threw the scrub brush aside.  
"Do you want me to-?"  
Lucius shook his head, sunk it under the water. It was nice under there, away from everyone. Nothing could come near him. He stayed under there as long as he could, until his entire throat was aching from lack of air, his heart hammering in his chest. He rose and took a deep, satisfying breath.  
Marcus sat right by the edge. "I was about to rush in after you."  
"I wish to get out, now."  
Marcus nodded. He held a towel in his hand.  
"If you lie down here," Marcus had smoothed out a second towel on the floor nearby. "I'll dissolve the bruises and cuts." He wiggled the potion in his hand.  
Lucius took the towel and eyed him critically.  
"Why are you doing this?"  
Marcus seemed to think for a moment. "Because I've always respected you. Besides, no one deserves what they did to you."  
He averted his eyes as Lucius stood and wrapped the towel around his waist. Lucius walked over and lay down on the other towel with as much dignity as he could muster. The humiliation of it all! That this ex-student actually pitied him!  
Marcus knelt beside him, frowning at his body, unsure of where to begin.  
"Oh, give me that!" Lucius sat up, snatched it from his fingers and undid the lid.  
"I should really-"  
Too late. He poured it onto his fingers and rubbed the potion on the cuts and bruises about his face, simply wanting this done as quickly as possible. Once his face was healed, he poured more onto his hands and went to work efficiently on his arms, then his chest. He looked to Marcus once more, then stilled. The boy had gone bright red, was looking at him with an odd, closed expression.  
"I'm sorry," Marcus looked away. "This is... it's a little hard to..."  
Lucius looked at the bottle in his hand, then handed it to him.  
"Do my abdomen," he ordered.  
The young man's eyes widened. "No, that's ok. You do it."  
Lucius smiled. "You want to do it, don't you?" He felt an odd deflation. "That is what this has been about, hasn't it?" He pulled the towel from his waist. "I would prefer it if you would just rape me, rather than go through this absurd courting ritual, of which I want no part."  
Marcus snatched the bottle from his hands and threw his new robes at him. "Get dressed. I'm taking you back to your cell."  
Lucius laughed. "What, can't get it up?"  
"Get dressed!" Marcus ordered.

The young man said nothing more until Lucius was back in his cell with the door locked. He stood, hesitant, by the bars.  
"I'm sorry. I just wanted to help you. I'm not like the others. I hope you'll see that, in time."  
He rushed away from the cell, leaving Lucius to his own dark thoughts.

"You will do what you must. You always do. I trust you, Severus."  
Snape nodded slowly, took another sip of his firewhisky. The Leaky Cauldron was close to empty this time of night, perfect for a quick rendezvous with a heavily cloaked Dumbledore.  
The older man sighed, reading his mind without the aid of legilimency, as usual.  
."I intend to take a journey, before school begins. The outcome may be rather unfavourable. But it is a necessity."  
Severus deliberately pushed down his usual feelings of irritation, when Dumbledore talked in such evasive fashion.  
"Come now, Severus. What is life without a bit of mystery?" Dumbledore said in jolly fashion and took a large swig of his butterbeer.  
Snape tried to ignore the pounding of his heart. He couldn't shake the feeling that everything was about to turn terribly bad.  
He had already lost Lucius.  
Snape shuddered. He didn't even wish to consider what was happening to him in there. Disgraced Death Eaters always suffered greatly in Azkaban. Dumbledore had saved him from prison time, for which he was thankful. He had heard from his contacts that a few of the prisoners were going to 'get him' first chance they got. Rumours held that conditions had actually worsened since the Dementors had left.  
"Another firewhisky for your thoughts?" Dumbledore said and held up his hand to Rosemerta, signaling another drink.  
Snape shook his head.  
"Lucius?"  
At least he wasn't doing the 'he deserved what he got' speech. The older man was smarter than that. Snape knew that Dumbledore couldn't fathom their relationship. By Merlin's left foot, even he couldn't, at times. What would a man as good-looking, as powerful, as popular as Lucius want with such a greasy little nothing as himself? He had even asked the man once, after a particularly sweaty lovemaking session, when both still lay together, arms and legs tangled.  
Anger had flashed in Lucius' eyes. "Do you really expect me to debase myself by answering such a stupid question?"  
Other times, he saw Lucius' obvious cruelty, and wondered why he could stay with one who saw the world in simple black and white, over how multicoloured it really was. He was often amazed at how Lucius could be so brilliant in some areas, and insanely stupid in others. Particularly in terms of his own prejudices. With Severus, it was all show. However, Lucius honestly seemed to believe that idiocy. Even in the past, when Snape was definitively on the Dark Lord's side, he saw it only as a means to an end, a choosing of what he honestly believed would be the winning side. After all, the other side had people like Sirius Black and James Potter in it. Often times, when he and Lucius argued, it was when Snape took issue over some illogical comment of his lover. Merely days before he was sent way to Azkaban, Severus had called him a 'closed-minded idiot with the brain the size of a slug.' This obviously did not go down well with Lucius.  
Lucius chose his own path and Severus, because of his own double-agenda within the Death Eaters, was powerless to stop it.  
"I must tell you, Severus, that there have been...disturbing rumours in regard to Mr. Malfoy... and I must stress they are rumours."  
Severus snorted. "I know, Headmaster, of your contact within the prison."  
"I would think you'd investigate the matter yourself."  
Snape shook his head. The truth was, he didn't want to know. If Lucius had been hurt, he didn't think he could handle it.  
"This will be a stressful year, obviously. I just don't want any concern for him clouding your judgement. Particularly if you are to be looking after Draco."  
"Believe me, I wish for the same," Snape said quickly.  
"However, as Lucius is close to you, I think it's best that you do see him at the prison. Best to get it from him."  
Snape closed his eyes. No, I can't be hearing this. Not now. He felt sudden anger, directed directly at the man before him.

_I can't do anything about that! Why tell me about something I'm powerless to stop? By Merlin's Beard, please just let it be rumour. Lucius would never let anything happen to himself. Lucius always gets out of intense situations._  
"Maybe it is best if I visit." Snape conceded.

tbc...


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to all who are reading and sending kudos. :)  
> There will be a more angst in this chapter. But Snape comfort is on the way.  
> Warnings for more rape and abuse.

For two days, he refused to eat. It wasn't a deliberate hunger strike; he simply had no desire to walk into the crowded lunchroom, to be surrounded by those who had hurt him. No, it was better to stay where he was, safe in the cocoon of his cell. The prisoners didn't bother him in here, not for the moment, anyway.  
The screws that passed him didn't seem to care about his injuries, a fact that irritated him immensely. A few days earlier, when he hadn’t yet sunk to the depths of despair, he had shouted out to them that he was Lucius Malfoy! How dare they treat him with such insolence. They had simply laughed and continued walking.  
The sole exception was Marcus, who brought him food, late one night. He said nothing, simply slipped it through the bars and walked away. Lucius rushed over and grabbed the tin plate, eating so quickly that his stomach ached. The roast was appallingly overdone and the vegetables were mushy and cold, yet still he managed to gulp it down. It was undignified, he knew, but at that point he was too famished to care.   
The next day, Marcus came to his cell with a bowl of yoghurt. Lucius stood by the bars to receive it.  
"When I first arrived here, I requested an audience with the warden."  
Marcus shook his head. "That's ah... not going to be possible. The warden doesn't talk to prisoners."  
"I can make it worth your while."  
Lucius had tried this upon entering the prison. The officers, however, refused to take bribes, in return for preferential treatment.  
Marcus can be worked, he told himself.  
"What is the going rate for an officer? 5 or 6 galleons an hour?"  
An odd look crossed the boy's face. "They are very strict on bribery. I can't...I'm sorry."  
Lucius laughed. "What are you implying? I merely wish to give you a gift, for being so kind to me, earlier."  
Marcus shook his head. "I have to go."  
Lucius bit his lip, watching the bulky figure move down the hall, then carried his bowl to the edge of the bed and heavily sat down.  
 _That's ok, not a set back, it will just take more time._  
Not much more, he told himself, in a few days you'll be transferred to the cell of those... they call themselves men but that's debatable.  
Sev would certainly come up with a witty line to describe them. He could see it now, his lover holding a glass of wine in his beautiful, long white fingers, as the usual eloquent words rolled off his tongue.  
Lucius put the yoghurt to one side. He had told himself he wasn’t going to think about the elegant Potions Master, so why did he keep popping up in his head?  
 _Just wait until Marcus comes back._  
It turned out he didn't need to wait that long. Three hours later, Marcus arrived with the key to unlock his cell.  
"I managed to convince him to see you."  
Lucius smiled, not for a second believing him. He wondered if he had contacts outside the prison, who held sway over the warden. Whatever the reason, it was of no concern of his. If he was able to lay on the charm, he could at least be moved to a different part of the prison.  
Marcus cuffed his hands and led him out of the cell. Some of the prisoners whistled and yelled as they passed. A few simply stared with interest.  
"Where are you taking the newbie?” One of the officers, traveling up the corridor from the opposite direction, asked. Lucius bristled but kept his mouth shut, taking in the man’s unbuttoned top button and uncombed hair, with a fair amount of disgust.  
"None of your concern." Marcus said.  
"Touchy, touchy."  
Marcus simply continued walking.  
They stopped at a closed door and Marcus took out his keys. The gym area beyond held many a dumbbell. In Lucius' mind, that applied to the equipment as well as the muscle pumped prisoners watching them as they passed.  
"Hey pretty..."  
The Buggy eyed man involved in the original attack put down his weight, smiling at him. Lucius refused to meet his eyes.  
When I get out of here, he vowed to himself. When I get out....  
The gym opened to a second, longer corridor, the concrete ground finishing in florescent green carpet. As he was passed along it, Lucius noted the paintings on the wall, all dignified looking men and women (but for one that was picking his nose, before jumping at being discovered and adopting the same pose as the others.)  
The warden's reception door was perhaps the only door in the entire prison made of oak, barely able to keep out the prisoners, Lucius told himself, but the two armor plated knights guarding would be sufficient protection.  
The waiting room consisted of a long coach with flowers growing steadily into the fabric. A bookcase of what looked to be mainly law books had Lucius thinking of Severus. He quickly shook him from his mind, concentrating on the task at hand. Marcus ordered him to the coach, and then informed the secretary, a gruff looking dwarf behind the oak partition that Lucius Malfoy was there to see the warden. Lucius ran a hand over his unshaven chin, before brushing it through his hair. He felt out of balance without a shower, a shave, or even haircut, disparate from the powerful entrepreneur who had the Minister of Magic at his beck and call.  
The door leading to the warden's room opened and the dwarf gruffly ordered him in. Marcus gave him a half smile.

"I need to go. Another officer will see you out of the room."

The warden was a surly looking man with a long black beard and black eyes. His office was draped entirely in black. Even the grimlock peeking out from its glass cage was the colour of the futherest corner of a house in a moonless night. Lucius shook his hand.  
"Thank you for this audience." He said respectfully.  
"I hear you've been trying to get in contact with me for some time." The warden offered him a chair.  
"I know you're busy, so I'll get to the point. I'm requesting to be moved to a different part of the prison. Because of my stature, I am a threat to the other prisoners. It would be best, for all concerned."  
"I see." The Warden reached across the table and put a chocolate frog in his mouth. "is that all?"  
 _All right, reroute._  
"As you would know, I have... powerful friends outside this institution. It would be-"  
The man sighed, swallowed his frog. "Ah, love it when they jump up and down. Let me just stop you there."  
He reached under his desk a moment and reached under his desk, pulling out a paper and slamming it on the desk. The photo of a man with the look of a lion took up half the front page. The title read 'New Minister for Magic Appointed. Fudge is Out.'  
Lucius ignored the sudden panic seizing his throat. He opened his mouth to speak but the man cut him off.  
"Don't bother, Mr. Malfoy. You can't buy me and you can’t scare me. You picked the wrong side when you sided with that despicable Dark Lord of yours. So, the other prisoners are giving you trouble. I really don't care. The only reason that I even agreed to this is because Dumbledore insisted upon it."  
Lucius hid his surprise well.   
"He's a good man. Sometimes a little too good, if you ask me. But he doesn't run this prison, I do. I just want to make something clear. Your money means nothing here. Now get out of my office."  
Lucius could not move a moment, rage boiling his veins.  
"Mr. Malfoy?"  
He stood, breathing heavily, eyes blazing.  
"You will regret those ill chosen words."  
Another added to the list of ones he would destroy, when he got out. Lucius nodded curtly and swept from the room.  
The officer who had passed the snide remark earlier was waiting for him outside the warden's office.  
"Guess what, Malfoy. You're moving cells. Your stuff’s already been moved."  
Lucius couldn't hear the words. Fierce anger still stabbed his stomach. His hands shook, as though itching to go around someone's neck.  
"Did you hear me?"  
Lucius ignored him, continuing to walk back down the corridor, stepping off the green carpet.  
It wasn't until he reached the gym that he stopped, the officer's words and meaning seeping through.  
"Come on. I don't have all day."  
He turned to the officer with his most gracious smile.  
"I'll be blunt. What do you need? The best school for your child? A trust fund-"  
The officer shook his head. "Doesn't work like that, here. Not with me, not with any of the officers."  
Lucius allowed his anger to manifest in condescending laughter. "You're telling me you're that morally conscientious-"  
"No. We made a magical vow before we joined that we wouldn't bribes."  
"Then why am I being moved?"  
The officer looked at him with sympathetic eyes. "We've found it best to let the prisoners form their own power structures. They're hard to contain, as it is."  
 _I won't beg. I'll die before I resort to such tactics._  
"Put me in solitary." He ordered.  
The officer shook his head. "Come on, move."  
Lucius bowed his head, then changed his mind and held it high. He refused to be defeated. I'll think of something, he told himself. So, the warden and the officers won't help. I'll think of something.  
The cell was slightly larger than his. Both men had spread his items all over the bed and were going through them. The grey haired man was reading a book, while the other applied styling cream to his hair.  
"Excuse me!" He stormed in there before the officer even had the chance to take off his cuffs. "Put them down this instant!"  
The two looked to each other and laughed but complied.  
"Malfoy! Come here." The officer ordered.  
"Just hurry up."  
"He wants it all ready."The grey-haired man said, as the officer removed the cuffs, slamming the door shut and sealing him to his fate.  
"You've got a lot of useless shit." The other man shook his head.  
"Laying your grimy hands on my possessions was never part of the deal." Lucius said.  
"Fine. You can put them away wherever you want."  
Lucius walked over to the bed and picked up his belongings, stiffening as the shorter man grabbed his ass. He resisted the urge to turn and thump him across the face.  
"Hello, beautiful."  
Lucius contained his flinch as the man wrapped his arm around his waist and kissed his neck.  
"Can't you wait?" Grey-haired man laughed.  
"Not really. Can't wait till later tonight..." The man murmured into his ear. "I'm gonna fuck you so hard..."  
Lucius counted to five inside his head, body actually shaking with rage at the vulgarity. He felt personally offended by it. The man moved away. Lucius took a deep breath and moved to the currently unoccupied bunk, placing his belongings on the bottom bed. Grey haired man walked over and picked up one of the books.  
"What kind-?"  
Lucius snatched it out of his hands. "None of your conce-"  
The slap took him utterly by surprise. Out of reflex, he hit back, cocking the other right in the jaw. Grey haired man staggered back a few spaces. The other man laughed.  
"Got a bit of spirit in him, this one!"  
The grey-haired man said nothing, simply stared at Lucius, holding his jaw.  
"You'll pay for that." He said, quietly, and then moved back to his own bed, where he directed a chess piece, which eagerly smashed the other's pawn.  
Lucius turned from them both, arranging his books by his bed, then moved to the tiny sink to place his bath products.  
"While you're there you can scrub that toilet. Brush and toilet cleaner are next to it."  
Lucius could only stand still a moment, hands shaking with rage.  
"How dare you ask such a thing of me! I refuse."  
"Ok, here's the deal." The grey-haired man's words were peppered with anger. "You do it, or we order one of our friends in to do it. And they get to fuck you, as a reward."  
Lucius couldn't seem to keep his hands still.  
"I'll fight them." He turned to face them. "I'll fight you all. I'd rather die than have you touch me again. If I had my wand-"  
"I love it when he gets feisty." The other man laughed. "Tell me, is it true you've got veela blood in you?"  
For once the idiot was right about something. He did, on his mother's side. He wouldn't give the man the satisfaction of knowing, however.  
"Your choice." The grey-haired man shrugged.  
Cheeks burning with humiliation, he bent down and picked up the toilet brush, realising there really was no choice. He would accede to this, to being treated worse than a house elf. At least this way they weren't touching him.  
It was two hours later, when the lights finally switched off, that they came to him. He finished with the toilet, gagging the entire time, and then retired to his bed, picking up one of his books without reading a single word, simply ticking down the time.  
He considered fighting it but then realized, with terror, that it was pointless. They would merely hurt him more, and then let some of their friends join in.  
"Fight me." The grey-haired man said, as he flung him face forward down onto the bed, ripping his robes up. "Come on, you said you would."  
Lucius gritted his teeth, clenched his fists and bore it out. He couldn't help the groan that escaped his lips as he was forcefully breeched, pain searing his rectum. The man gripped his shoulders, allowing him no time to adjust as he began to thrust, hard.  
"Yeah, that's it." The other shouted, voice hoarse with arousal. "Fuck him hard."  
"Where's the fight, Lucius?" The grey-haired man laughed. "Or do you really want this?"  
He reached around and pulled at Lucius' scrotum. Both men laughed at his strangled scream.  
 _It will be over soon. It will be over soon and they'll let me sleep._  
Only the man seemed to take forever, slamming into him endlessly, biting hard into his neck and shoulders. Finally, his pace quickened, his breathe became even more erratic. He shouted out and Lucius knew that he had come.  
The second man flipped him onto his back and held his legs against his chest.  
"Man, you really did him good." He laughed as he positioned his cock against the tiny opening.  
"What can I say? That was a great fuck."  
"I'm gonna do you even better." He could feel the man's breath against his ear.  
Lucius bit his lip as he was slammed into once more, this one grunting with every harsh movement.  
"For such a slut, you've got such a tight little hole." He could hear laughter in the man's voice.  
Lucius didn't hear much after that. the pain, the shame, the humiliation began too much. He found himself fading away, removing himself from the situation. He was barely awake when the man bit hard into his ear, calling him a slut, as he came.  
Good, good, Lucius thought as the man collapsed against him, breathing hard. Now they're done, they’ll leave me alone.  
He didn't anticipate rounds two and three, before the two, claiming to be exhausted from the night's activities, finally moved to bed.

The next morning, to his terror, Marcus informed him that Snape would visit, later that week.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Notes: Thanks to all who are reading (and adding kudos). More angst this chapter and some Sev/Lucius ;)

“Thank you, Severus.”  
Dumbledore’s face was now more lined than ever in Severus’s memory. His shriveled hand sat before them on the table. To Severus, it was proof of his failure. Dumbledore had argued that he had done more than anyone possibly could, to at least contain the poison in the one hand. But Severus knew better. With anxiety bordering on hysteria, he had searched, for a book, a piece of parchment, an eccentric hag, anything to save Dumbledore from the painful death now slowly consuming his body.  
“You’ll be hated by wizards on our side, shunned from society, even if you do survive.” Dumbledore paused, blue eyes sparkling with love and compassion. “Severus, this will mark you as the bravest man I have ever met.”  
Snape couldn’t help but allow his lip to curl up into a grimace. The headmaster was right. This will make him even more hated than he already was. He didn’t think it made him particularly brave. It simply had to be done.  
“It is Harry’s turn to step up.” The old wizard muttered. Severus scowled. He didn’t believe at all that a dunderhead like Harry Potter could defeat Voldemort, no matter what sized ego the pint sized boy had. He was just like James. All brawn and no brains.  
A humorous glint appeared in the headmaster’s eyes then.  
“You never had the trust that I have in Harry.”  
“It is all for her, Headmaster. You know this.”  
Dumbledore nodded, his expression momentarily very grave, before righting itself.  
“Come, let’s have a chocolate cluster.”  
Snape politely excused himself from the office and quickly made his way down to his dungeon rooms. It was pleasant before school started, without idiot children shouting, screeching, running, doing magic and disturbing the relative peace of Hogwarts' walls. He nodded at Filtch on the way down. The caretaker was right to be angry at students.  
 _Sacrifice._  
That word circled around and around in his head, as he stepped into his dingy bedroom and pointed his wand at the cold fireplace, which instantly roared to life.  
He knew all about sacrifice.  
He had come to Hogwarts knowing more dark spells than perhaps any other child there, in the hopes of one day using them on his abusive, bullying Father. As the years progressed, he found friends in fellow jaded Slytherin students. The Dark Lord was already building an army and Severus, full of bitterness and poisonous hatred, was determined to join, with the others, when he could.  
Lily had disowned him. All because of one callous remark, blurted out in humiliation and shame. James had taken his graying underwear off and flung them into the lake, where they were scooped up by the giant squid. The roar of laughter and cruel remarks from the students surrounding him concerning his pasty backside and flopping penis were nothing compared to his guilt. Snape had tried desperately to make it up to her in the following weeks, to no avail. Hence, with the only woman he would ever love determined to never speak to him again, he devoted himself fully to the Dark Arts.  
He finally got the mark two days after his Father shot his mother, and then shot himself.  
Severus was seventeen.  
Sitting by the fire, he wrapped his robes around himself, shivering once more. So it had turned full circle. He would once again have to live with the agony of being responsible for the death of one he loved. Only this time, it was the only Father figure he’d ever had. It made him hate Dumbledore but it made him despise himself more.  
A letter suddenly flew in from under the slot of his door. Frowning, Severus stepped over and picked it up.  
Of course, it was from the prison, details of his visit for the following day. Dumbledore had managed to arrange a conjugal for him and Lucius. Snape was quite prepared to tear it up and simply not go.  
In his first years as a death eater, Bellatrix often hinted that the white-blond haired man wanted him. However, Severus refused to believe it. What could possibly attract a man like that to a man like himself?  
It wasn’t until one particular Death Eater’s party that Lucius made his feelings obvious. Severus had left the others to find the bathroom. He was walking down a dark passageway when he felt movement behind him. Lucius drunkenly took him by the shoulders, shoved him into the wall and viciously kissed him. Severus immediately took out his wand and blasted him into the wall opposite.  
“Don’t touch me!”  
The pale face splotched red with shock, Lucius stared at him a moment, grey eyes wide, before rushing back down the corridor.  
Five years after Lily’s death, at the age of twenty six, Severus finally took the blond into his bed. To his surprise, Lucius was a kind and considerate lover. Snape continued to see the blond. After a while, the Potion Master did start to develop some feelings for the man. It was obvious Lucius had fallen for him, but Severus simply couldn’t reciprocate.  
 _It will always be her. Always._  
Severus went to tear the paper in his hands, then stopped.  
It would be easiest to never see Lucius again.  
It would also be easiest to kill Draco himself, to avoid this end of year catastrophe that was bound to happen. Or perhaps kill himself. Yes, perhaps that would be easiest of all.  
Alas, as Dumbledore always reminded him, one must do what’s right, not what’s easy.  
He opened the letter once more and reaffirmed the appointment for the next day.  
***  
“Come along, darling.” The screw taunted. Lucius did his best to ignore him, as he was led down the wide walkway, to the Conjugal Rooms. He buried his terror at seeing his lover deep down, as far as it would go. To say no would arouse too many suspicions, so he had acceded to one night with Severus.  
A minor part of him was intrigued as to why Severus could be chosen for the conjugal and not Narcissa. But then, the Potions Master was his true love, never his wife, though pretty and intelligent as she was. Perhaps Dumbledore, who obviously had the most sway in this matter, recognized this and, hence, organized for it to be the dark haired man to see him.  
He had gone over his fear constantly since hearing he would see his lover again.  
The best thing to do would be to act as himself, to repress the constant abuse of late and allow Sev to see nothing wrong.  
Hence, that morning, he’d shaved, spent a long time in the bath, thanks to Marcus, applied a liberal amount of aftershave and combed and styled his short blond hair to the usual regal Malfoy look.  
He was able to fix the other, minor tears and bruises (courtesy of the roughness of his two ‘owners’ the night before) with a healing chant. The other two didn’t warn him not to say anything. They didn’t need to. Shame prevented him from any need to reveal any of the torture to Sev.  
Lucius was led past the main desk to a series of doors beyond. Lucius vaguely wondered who else was being visited.  
“You have until eight tomorrow.” The officer said roughly, as he opened Door 57, and then pointed at Lucius’ cuffs. They instantly fell off and were in the officer’s hands. The blond took a deep breath and entered, the door closing shut behind him.  
Severus had been sitting at the table in the corner of the room and stood up as he entered. He wore dark robes, hair its usual tangled greasy mess about his shoulders. Snape wasn’t a beauty in the conventional sense. But, then Lucius wasn’t attracted to convention. He found the Potion’s Master to be utterly striking, his obvious flaws only adding to his allure.  
“Lucius.” He moved forward.  
“Severus.”  
It had been too long since they had last met. Lucius longed to grab Sev right then and there and throw him over the table, shove apart the heavy black garments and start to heartily bugger him before he even had a chance to react.  
A slight curl lifted the thin lips of the man opposite him. To Lucius, his wide, black eyes held him. He could stare into the darkened orbs for hours.  
An image suddenly rose up from deep in the locked box in which he’d concealed it. The piggy black eyes of his rapist, so different from Sev’s, looking straight onto his face as he moved above him, laughing at the grunts of pain Lucius was unable to hold back. The other prisoner's cock was then shoved at his mouth.  
“Suck it, bitch.”  
He instantly pushed the vision down again.  
Too late. Snape’s mouth opened a little in surprise, and then slammed shut, beautiful eyes blazing.  
My Sev is a skilled occlumens, Lucius thought, feeling slight panic break through his veneer.  
And he just saw that.

Tbc…


	5. Chapter 5

As perplexed as Severus was by the tangle of emotion he felt towards Lucius Malfoy, one feeling was certainly always at the forefront; overwhelming lust. Snape would be forever aroused by his wintry, Nordic beauty. Often times, with their bodies entwined and moving in panting, shuddering unison, he would marvel at his lover’s sweat soaked skin, as pale as moonlight. Indeed, Lucius almost seemed to glow.  
Stepping into conjugal room, Lucius still had the kingly aura about him, despite the prison robes and defeated look in his pale  eyes. Snape felt his cock twitch.  
“Lucius”. He said, moving towards the figure, as the door slammed shut behind him.  
“Severus.”  
He looked directly into the grey eyes. The connection was so strong between them that he could extract images from Lucius’ eyes with ease. Both had practiced with each other over the years, having learnt, from early on, the necessity of guarding their mind against the Dark Lord.  
Severus saw, in Lucius' mind, Lucius grabbed him and swung him around, bending him over the table he’d just been sitting behind. Groaning with desire, the blond hastily pulled up his black robes and shoved his pants down, entering him in one swift movement. Snape curled his upper lip as, in his mind, his lover panted, roughly thrusting, with hands pressed into his hips for leverage. He saw himself thrusting back to meet him, dark hair falling over his sweaty, groaning face.  
Severus knew what this was. Lucius was teasing him.  
It took a lot of will not to shout at the man to ‘Take me already!’  
The image changed, this time to his own face, staring back at Lucius, followed by a closer image of his eyes. Severus found himself stilling, going completely rigid, marble-like, to push his own emotions back. A familiar emotion was accompanying the image of his eyes, flowing quite unbidden from Lucius’ mind.  
It was the same emotion Severus felt whenever he thought about Lily’s eyes.  
Damn him! Snape thought, suddenly pulling all of his strength forward and reaching into Lucius’ mind, determining to hurt him, to just make it stop. Anything, he just couldn’t…  
His face in Lucius' mind dissolved to a different face. Lank grey hair and piggy black eyes. Lucius lay on his back, body folded in half. The man grunted as he viciously thrusted, looking down onto the pain, humiliation, fear and anger written all over Lucius’ usually icy veneer. Another cock appeared above his stricken face.  
“Suck it, bitch!”  
The image faded.  
Severus was frozen in shock a moment, before his emotions swiftly turned to anger.  
“Give me their names.”  
Lucius shook his head. His skin had acquired an ashy tone.  
“Lucius!”  
It was a shock to see such a proud man so demoralized. He hunched over and walked to the chair, as though he had aged a hundred years, and then sat down.  
“Let it be, Severus.”  
He wouldn’t meet the other’s eyes.  
Snape stormed over to him and pulled the table over with the strength of his anger, before kneeling in front of him and gripping the sides of his chair, staring into his lover’s face.  
“I have just seen you…violated! And you ask me to let it be! Give me their names, Lucius! I’ll make sure they suffer-“  
“Do you think I wouldn’t, burst them into a thousand pieces, if I had the chance?” Lucius spat, his hands lifting forward to push Snape back. He fell heavily onto his ass. The blond stood and stormed over to him, face now flushed, eyes blazing. “All I can think is when our Lord deems me punished enough to be free, I’ll-“  
“Punished enough?” Severus snarled, rising to his feet. “Is this a worthy punishment for you, Lucius? Being raped and abused?” The taller man flinched. “Do you think if twenty men force you that will be enough to make up for your inability last year to get the prophecy?”  
The colour drained from the other’s face.  
“If the Dark Lord deems it so…” His voice trembled.  
“Damn you!” Severus screeched his temper now in full flair. “You have no power in here! But I do! If one more person so much as touches you-“  
“The Dark Lord-“  
“The Dark Lord doesn’t figure in this!”  
A change came over the blond then, a sly smile twisting his sensuous lips.  
“Of course, I knew you would say that, being Dumbledore’s man. Bellatrix is right, isn’t she?”  
Snape sighed, took deep breaths to control himself, pushing his emotions back down.  
“Let’s not think whether the Dark Lord is going to save you. Let’s worry about the here and now. Firstly, I’ll convince the Warden to move you-“  
“It won’t work, Severus. I’ve already tried.”  
“I’ll use my connections-“  
“Ah back to that old fruitbat again.”  
Snape allowed a smidgen of anger to rise up once more.  
“What would you have me do?”  
“Nothing.”  
“So you want me to just go back to Hogwarts tomorrow and try and forget that you’ve been raped?”  
Lucius’ face was stony but a calamity of emotion swirled in his grey eyes, despair, anger, humiliation, shame, pride, all warring with each other. Snape saw faces upon faces, upon faces. Untold agony repeated over and over. Overwhelming all of this was a cry of the rawest pain. Severus pulled back, unable to cope with what he had just seen and felt.  
“Why did Dumbledore consent you to come? I will always be second in your affections. You waste all your energies on a ghost. And a mudblood at that.”  
All the remaining blood drained from Snape’s face. For a moment, everything stilled, and then he was on Lucius, dragging him from his chair, pounding into him with his fists.  
“Aha!” Lucius laughed, not even raising an arm to defend himself. For a moment he looked like his insane sister-in-law, Bellatrix. “Finally I can produce some emotion in you, Sev! Come on,”  
Severus stopped the beating, breathing hard. Lucius was pulling up his robes.  
“Oh no, don’t stop there! Beat me and take me, if that’s all I’m good for.”  
“Stop that!” Snape quickly moved off him, disgusted. His mind was a whirl of emotion. Lucius knew! Dear Merlin’s Beard. How did he find out?  
“You forget I am Slytherin too. Always, I’ve felt this distance between us, you holding back. Once, while sleeping I perused your mind. That’s when I saw her. Really, Sev.” He looked utterly sickened. “It is a testament to how I feel that I stay with you. To be second place to that.”  
“You…raped my mind while I was asleep?”  
“Oh, come on, Sev.” He laughed. “It’s not as though you haven’t ever forced any of my thoughts.”  
Snape decided to let that go, by simple fact that Lucius was right. Besides, there were more pressing issues to take care of.  
“You will tell no one!”  
“As if I would tell anyone about your non-reciprocated crush on the wife of your enemy!” Lucius spat. “A woman, I might add, who’s been dead for seventeen years.”  
The usual remorse ripped through him before he could hold it in. Yes, she was dead. It was his fault. That fact would never change.  
“Leave.” His lover sounded so defeated. “I don’t want you to be here.”  
“Lucius…”  
“Just go.”  
“We have twelve hours.”  
“Yes, twelve hours to remind myself of what I’ll never be.”  
Snape had never heard his lover be so open before. He felt guilt explode in his chest from the look of defeat in Lucius’ eyes.  
“No, I won’t go. I refuse.”  
Lucius simply looked up at him, his grey eyes totally blank, windows to an empty soul.  
“Just promise me. You’ll keep Draco safe. Please, Severus. Save my son.”  
***  
“After all this time?” Dumbledore asked, watching the graceful silver doe disappear from view.  
“Always.” Snape replied.  
The Headmaster nodded, took a moment to compose himself.  
“Severus, we will always love our dearly departed. I know you will always love her. But she would not have wanted you to deny your love for anyone else.”  
“I don’t know what-“  
”Yes, you do, Severus. You have shown your integrity, your remorse to me in so many ways. I trust you. You are a good man. If you were to allow yourself to love another, it would not diminish what she was to you. Severus…” He spoke lower now. “Lucius needs you now.”  
“I can’t.” The greasy haired man clutched at his stomach, as though in physical pain, his eyes overly bright. “Everything that’s happened-“  
“Severus, you have suffered too much for-“  
“I deserve to suffer more! Nothing, no amount of suffering can make up for what I’ve done!”  
“You are a good man.” Dumbledore said quietly. “I only wish for you to be happy.”  
***  
The room bore a slight chill despite the usually comforting fire. A spindly white hand reached out and stroked the large serpent, coiled on a pouch before the flames licking up the stone chimney.  
“It is complete, My Lord. Dumbledore is dead.” Snape spoke behind him.  
The snake like face turned and looked the dark haired man straight in the face. Behind him, a white-blonde haired boy shivered.  
“Come here, Draco.” The Lord commanded. The boy moved forward, his entire body shaking. “You are very lucky to have a friend such as Severus, yes? One to do your piddling tasks for you?”  
The head bowed, lips working ferociously.  
“What was that?”  
“Yes, My Lord.”  
A cold laugh rose out of the bony body. “Do you think he is sufficiently impressed with you now, Draco? Now that you have the mark?”  
He pointed his wand at the boy’s arm and he screamed in agony.  
“Tell me boy, will he take you to his bed, make love to you on your satin sheets?”  
Draco started to breath heavily, his face flushing.  
“Will he allow you to enter him, as his Father did? All alone, listening to the moans of your teacher and Father, wishing it was yourself, as you stroked yourself?”  
Humiliated tears now ran down the boy’s face.  
Voldemort looked to Severus, whose face was utterly blank.  
“You will be reunited with Lucius soon, Severus. Does this please you?”  
“Yes, My Lord.”  
“He is, of course, not in pristine condition. Last night, he was doubly penetrated. I’m afraid he is currently too torn up for use.”  
Draco clapped a hand over his mouth, tears spilling from his eyes.  
“Yes, My Lord.”  
Snake like eyes bore into black ones for a long moment. Voldemort finally nodded.  
“You may go.”  
Severus waited until they’d apparated back to his front doorstep before turning to the side and vomiting. Tiny sobs shook the frame of the slight boy beside him.  
“My Father…” Draco began.  
The brunet pulled up to an upright position.  
“Come, Draco.” He shakily pulled out his key and opened the front door. “Too much has happened tonight. We must both sleep.”  
The boy didn’t look him in the eye, still blushing and shaking as he entered the foyer. Snape stepped in himself and closed the door behind themselves.  
Draco moved to the centre of the room and stopped.  
“Draco? Come, we must-“He was beginning to feel impatient.  
“Please tell me my Father is ok.” He said quietly.  
“I can’t promise you that.” Snape felt terrible for telling the truth.  
The boy turned to face his teacher. So like Lucius, yet so different. His was a more delicate beauty, but no less alluring to most men.  
Not Severus Snape however.  
“Do you love my Father?” He asked.  
Snape didn’t reply.  
“I have always wanted you.” He said quietly, tears running down his face.  
His teacher blinked. He had never suspected. In all the years he taught Draco Malfoy, been to the house, spoken to the boy, attempted to guide him as best he could…He never knew. It was like a punch in the face, Draco saying the exact words he had always wanted to say to Lily. Only he couldn’t tell Draco what he wanted to hear.  
“I…I love Lucius. I’m sorry, Draco.”  
The boy nodded. “I know. But know that doesn’t stop how I feel. I hope this won’t make things awkward between us. I’m truly sorry.”  
He fled out the back room before Snape could reply.  
The Potions Master collapsed into a chair. This was all too much, with the death of Dumbledore earlier and now this confession. In that moment, he would have given anything not to be himself.  
What do I do, Lily? He beseeched.  
But there was, as always, no answer.

Tbc…


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to all reading, commenting, sending kudos. :)

Rumours preceded the proof. Finally, someone managed to obtain a newspaper, which made the news clear.  
The old fool mudblood lover was finally dead.  
Many in the prison appeared to be in shock, talking about the death in quiet, almost reverential whispers. Some even openly cried. Even Lucius, himself, was affected, however not the way the others were. He could not be more pleased the crackpot had been killed; furthermore, by his own ‘follower’. In Lucius’ mind, it could not have worked out more perfectly.   He had felt great surprise to hear that Sev was the one to do it, but he was thrilled, never-the-less. It seemed his lover had finally made the right choice.  
Before hearing of Dumbledore's demise, he had simply given up, much to the thrill of his ‘owners’. He acceded to their commands without question, or even hesitation. The men began to brag to the other prisoners that they were the ones to finally break the great Lucius Malfoy.  
But Dumbledore’s death changed that. Nothing would stop the Dark Lord now. It would only be a matter of time before he was broken free to rejoin the other Death Eaters.  
Lucius began to regain his haughty superiority. He refused, point blank, to submit to the will of his two 'owners'. The two had tried threatening and cajoling before finally resorting into beating him to submission and holding him down.  
“You will regret taking liberties of me.” Lucius snarled, as the second man climbed off him, still panting. Lucius then rearranged his prison robes, to cover the proof of the violation. “When the Dark Lord comes in-“  
“Shut up!” The man struck him across the face.  
“He will tear your flesh from your bones.” Lucius stood up from the bed.  
“I said shut up!”  
There was a sudden explosion behind them and all three were knocked off their feet. Lucius landed painfully on his hip, covering his face with his hands as plaster and other debris fell onto him. Screams of terror filled the air. He could hear hurried footsteps.  
“They are here.” He said, attempting to clamber up. A rush of blue passed the now open cell doorway. Guards, he realized, trying to fend off the advancing Death Eaters. One of them was Marcus. He recognized the slightly protruding jaw. Lucius clambered to his feet and rushed to the doorway. He was halfway out when a body slammed into him from behind. Both hit the floor again.   
“No, you’re not going anywhere! You’re mine! You’ll always be mine.” the grey-haired man said.  
Silver glinted in the air. The blade moved towards his horrified, upturned face.  
“Avada Kedavra!”  
The man slumped over. Lucius looked up in gratitude to his savior. Marcus smiled down at him. The smile turned into a silent ‘oh’ of surprise, as green light hit him from behind.  
“No!” Lucius cried out. He wasted no time and flung himself forward, grabbing the wand from the body and holding it up. The one who had just violated him stood in the doorway of the cell, shaking with fear. Lucius slowly rose.  
“Lucius…”  
“Crucio!”  
He pointed his wand at another fleeing prisoner. Ah yes, one of the ones who had originally attacked him.  
“Crucio! Crucio! Crucio!” He was now attacking prisoners at random. He had been hurt in such a way that not even the most painful curse could atone the feeling of injustice to his own being. They had all taken part, if not directly, then by their silence. He wanted to destroy every single one of them. To break their bones till they were fine ash.  
He wanted to-  
“Lucius!’  
“Cruc-“  
Beautiful inky black eyes stopped him.  
“Severus.”  
“Come, Lucius.”  
He noted that Severus wasn’t even holding his wand up; he was so utterly in control of the situation.  
“He is expecting you.”  
***  
“It will not at all be what you’re used to.” Snape admitted, the usual shame filtering through his bitter façade. The pale man beside him said nothing, simply stared forward, eyes empty blanks. Sighing, the brunet took his front door key out and opened the door.  
The Dark Lord had taken out his anger on Lucius in the same form in which the man, himself, had taken his own fury out on the prisoners.  
Worse than that, however, were the words he spoke as the blond lay, still twitching on the ground.  
“Tell me, Lucius; is this punishment enough for you?”  
“Yes My Lord.”  
“You do not wish for it to take another form? Perhaps you haven’t quite made up for your mistakes. Hmm…yes, perhaps I could allow Crabbe or Goyle to roughly take you.”  
To Snape's disgust, the two grinned, eyes brightening.  
“But then that would hardly be punishment, would it? After all, you allowed so many men to have you in Azkaban. What is that word? Slut? Are you a slut, Lucius?”  
There was a moment’s humiliated silence.  
“Yes, my Lord.”  
“I see. Perhaps you should set your mind on a more worthy lover, Severus. Now, take the slut out of my sight.”  
Severus then grabbed the now fully debased man and apparated both back to his place.  
Lucius touched him on the arm as soon as he entered the foyer.  
“My son. Narcissa.”  
“They are safe, Lucius. They are at the Manor.”  
He read the unspoken question.  
“It is safe here, Lucius. The Order doesn’t know about it. The Dark Lord wishes to punish you more by separating you and your wife and son. For now.” He added, seeing the horror seep into the light grey irises.  
Lucius looked around the book laden lounge room.  
“I need a bath.”  
“Certainly.” Snape directed him out of the room and up a short flight of stairs. At the top was a hall, leading to three other, smaller rooms. The third contained a small, cracked bath tub.  
“Towels.” Snape pointed his wand at a small cabinet under the vanity mirror, which opened and flung a towel over the rack. He then pointed at the bathtub and the plug picked up off the rim and sunk into the hole before the tap turned on.  
“I’ll be downstairs.”  
He returned to the lounge and took a random book off the shelf, plonked himself into a chair and attempted to read. His mind was focused on the blond upstairs. Where would they go to from here? What could he possibly to do help one who had been so viciously abused? Snape didn’t know where to start. He longed for Albus. Albus would know what do to, what to say to comfort him. If he could only go back to the school, talk to the portrait.  
He looked down at the novel and tried to concentrate once more.  
 _The basilisk is a cousin to the serpentis, what muggles commonly refer to as ‘serpent’. The-_  
Snape stood up, strode across the room and opened a bottle of wine.  
 _Yes, that will work. Get him drunk. I’m sure he’ll forget all about the constant rapes he’s had to endure and fall into your arms._ He grunted and poured the liquid down his throat. That this could happen to someone as powerful as Lucius, of all people! It seemed unimaginable.  
He didn’t want to think of it, and yet he felt impelled to.  
There was too much to think about, too much to do. He moved to the cupboard and took his pensieve out.  
Ten minutes later, Lucius walked down the stairs, still wrapped in his Azkaban robes.  
I’ll have to get him new clothes, Sev thought absently.  
His lover looked around the room, for once with curiosity over disgust. His skin was bright red and enflamed. Snape suspected this was a result of vigorous scrubbing.  
“Would you like a wine?”  
“Please.”  
A mark of distaste crossed the haughty face and he wiped down a lounge chair before sitting down, perched on the side.  
“Narcissa told me you lived in a house far below your stature. I didn’t believe her, until now that is.”  
Snape shoved the glass of blood red wine on the worn coffee table before him, deliberately letting his irritation show.  
“But then, the pure blood doesn’t run in your veins, does it, Sev?”  
This was the first time Lucius revealed that he knew Severus was half blood. He wasn’t concerned. His lover was a smart man. He would have figured it out eventually.  
“No, Lucius. My beloved,” He let the sarcasm roll smoothly off his tongue, “Muggle Father has been dead for twenty years. For which I am most aggrieved.”  
He sat on a threadbare couch opposite the white-blond haired man. Lucius had lost weight in the prison. His hair was, for once, mussed and stick up at odd angles. Dark lines underlined his eyes. Though conceited in composure, Severus could sense the immense strength it was taking for him to appear this way. This sudden vulnerability served to emphasize his beauty but in a different way than the usual icy charm he wove.  
“You don’t have to pretend, Lucius.” He said quietly.  
The man opposite raised a brow.  
“Pretend?”  
“You have been through a truly horrific experience. It’s fine to feel a little…”  
“Feel a little?” Anger coloured the words.  
“Out of sorts.”  
“We won’t discuss this further, understand? You’ll tell no one about that…that place. And you certainly won’t discuss it with me.”  
Snape shrugged. “Fine.”  
He felt some relief. If Lucius started to talk in detail about what happened in there, he wasn’t sure if he could handle it. They sat in awkward silence a moment.  
“I’ll make something for dinner.” Severus finally volunteered.

It felt good to have his mind on something other than the man in the other room. Severus finished dicing the capsicum and threw it onto the sizzling pan, a heady brew of freshly cut vegetables, pungent spices and sweet risotto filling the kitchen. He pointed his wand at the cupboard and two plates flew out, followed by cutlery in the drawer.  
“No house elf?” Lucius remarked, loping into the kitchen. “It smells good, at least.”  
Snape grimaced. “Sit down.” He ordered, pointing to a rickety wooden table.  
Lucius obeyed, as Severus flicked his wand, the pot moving over to the centre of the table.  
Severus came over and sat down, and then both were silent a moment as they ate.  
“You have one of the biggest noses I have ever seen.” Lucius remarked.  
Snape slammed his utensils down. “Would you like me to throw some of the galleons I evidentially don’t possess to pay for this abuse?”  
“And your teeth are off colour and crooked. The top molar on the left crosses the tooth beside it and your front teeth cross each other. It’s an imperfection I find utterly fascinating.”  
Snape found himself thrown off balance by this remark. He lifted up his utensils again and poked at his food.  
“You have the blackest eyes I have ever seen. I have never seen eyes of such beauty before. It’s in your eyes you find your perfection.”  
Snape could only stare at him, speechless.  
“I think I should go to bed.”  
He put down his knife and fork beside the half finished plate.  
“S-sure I’ll, I’ll get the, I’ll show you the way.” He said, feeling a little dazed.  
What on earth possessed Lucius to say that? He thought as he led him down the hall to the spare bedroom.  
“This is-“  
“Stay with me.” Lucius said.  
Severus stared at him a moment, probing his lover’s mind and seeing nothing.. Lucius was evidentially repelling him.  
“Why did you just say those things?” He asked.  
The other sighed. “Fine, would you prefer me to say you’re an ugly, greasy git?”  
“I know what I am and I know what I’m not and I’m not-“  
“I think you are. But then my opinion doesn’t count for anything, does it? On second thoughts, get out. I’d prefer to sleep by myself tonight.”  
Severus nodded and exited the room.  
***  
Severus hastily threw open his bedroom door and tore down the hall. Lucius screamed once more.  
“Lucius!” He threw open the spare room door, to find his friend tossing about on the bed, whimpering.  
In three steps, he made it to the edge of the bed. He grabbed Lucius and shook him. The grey eyes opened and he saw a momentary flash of six men holding him down, jeering another on as he viciously pounded into him. Then the image was gone, as the blond clamped down on his mind.  
“What are you doing in here?”  
Severus suddenly found himself flung across the room, slamming into the wall opposite. Lucius held his wand up, his hand trembling somewhat. It appeared he’d been hiding it in the pillow.  
“I told you to get out.”  
“You were screaming.” Severus said. “I thought someone-”  
“That I can’t defend myself if someone tries to attack me?”  
“If I had no weapon and six people were attacking me I would be overpowered.”  
Lucius lowered the weapon, the trembling now more pronounced. “I told you we weren’t going to discuss this.”  
“Fine, then let’s not discuss something that has you screaming bloody murder in your sleep, or possibly never able to touch anyone ever again without flinching.” He allowed his anger to seep through.  
Lucius was off the bed in a flash, moving to Severus in a predatory manner. He was suddenly on top of him, tongue snaking into his mouth, their teeth clinking together.  
“Would you like me,” He said, reaching into Severus’ robes and finding his cock, gently stroking. “To turn you around right now and ram into you to prove you wrong?”  
“Get off me, Lucius.” Snape sighed.  
“I thought you-“  
Severus suddenly reached up and grabbed Lucius by the hair, slamming their bodies together. He felt terrible for doing it but it worked. Once the blond had no control, his body froze and he hastily moved away. For a moment, he stared at Severus, breathing harshly. His eyes were wide and staring, his hair messed up.  
He looked heart achingly beautiful in that moment.  
“What do you want me to do, Lucius?”  
“I don’t know…” He looked so pitiful. “There’s nothing you can do. I must face this alone.” He slumped down the end of the bed. “I fought them. I fought them with every inch of my being.”  
”I would expect no less.”  
Severus moved over to kneel before him.  
Lucius ran a trembling hand through Severus’ hair.  
Severus didn’t need to use occulemens to know that Lucius was thinking about how the Dark Lord humiliated him that night. Perhaps Lucius was right. Perhaps he was wasting his heart on a woman who never loved him, who had been dead sixteen years. Whereas here, in front of him was a fractured man still reaching out to him. In Lucius’ pain, he still deemed Severus worthy.  
He wasn’t a slut. He did what he had to. What anyone would have done to survive. Severus knew all too well the cost one had to bear merely to make it day by day.  
“Your mind is closed.” Lucius remarked.  
Severus smiled, moved forward and placed his lips on Malfoy’s. Lucius responded, tongues hungrily clashing. Both pulled back, panting.  
“Severus, I can’t… You were right.” He looked stricken.  
“I don’t expect anything. Can I stay here with you, tonight?”  
Lucius leant back and patted the bed beside him.  
***  
Severus lay awake, watching the man twitching beside him. In the past week, tonight was the first night Lucius slept without waking up screaming.  
“Sh…” He soothed, running a hand through his hair. In the past, he would have awoken Lucius and they would have made fast, furious love. That was changed now. His lover wasn’t himself. He had acquired a distinct vulnerability, completely at odds with the Ministry entrepreneur with everyone mesmerized under his command. He was quieter, often taken to long moments of solitude, talked less and was quicker to anger.  
He laughed a lot less, face continually drawn and pensive, body seeming to strain as though anticipating an attack. Lucius barely allowed Severus to touch him, often pulling away when he drew near.  
The lack of laughter was what pained Severus the most. The brunette deliberately pushed his own wry, ironic sense of humour. Dumbledore had often said that he loved Severus’ humour. Oftentimes, in the headmasters office, one sharply spoken word of his, often times said in anger, would have the old man laughing until tears ran down his face.  
Of late, it was an accomplishment to have Lucius smile.  
Snape was furious at the men who had caused his lover to suffer so much. To him, the cruciatus curse wasn’t good enough. He longed to blast them to pieces, to have them scream and cry and beg for mercy. Volemort couldn’t hurt Lucius as much as he’d already been hurt. Even death would probably be a relief for the man right now.  
Severus shuddered and pulled Lucius close to him. No, not Lucius. Please, not him too. Not…again.  
This was all too much. He couldn’t allow this to happen. Perhaps it was a test by Voldemort, as to whose side he was truly on. If Lucius found out the truth of where his true loyalty was, he’d probably kill Snape himself, before the Dark Lord even got to him.  
He would kill him out of vengeance for his broken heart, he was sure of it.  
It was so easy in the past, he realized. His love for Lily gave him strength and focus. But now, things were getting murky.  
Now that he was finally at a place where Dumbledore’s final plan could come into action, he was finding himself drawing more and more into wanting to be with a fellow Death Eater.  
No, I love her. Always, he told himself, ignoring the stabbing guilt piercing him.  
***  
“Keep your large nose out of my space!” Lucius shrieked. Snape, to his credit, didn’t react but for a dark look in his direction, before storming out of the room. The blond man sat down a moment, trembling a little and cursing himself for it. He hadn’t meant to insult Severus. It had started out to be a pretty good day. They’d had breakfast together, then both had retired to the lounge room to discuss the Dark Lord’s plans.  
They had then picked up a few of Snape’s many books and comfortably read next to each other.  
“Let me show you something.” Severus said, jostling his chair around so he was closer. “Snake venom can be cured by Phoenix tears, yes. We all know that-“  
He leant close to Lucius, smelling of bitter potions and spices. He held the book up to show Lucius, some of his hair brushing against his cheek. It smelt of ginger. So he had washed it but it had done nothing to control the grease.  
A memory flitted through his mind. The grey-haired man had him bent over the bed and was thrusting into him. It felt all too real; the sheets chaffing his skin, the pain tearing his insides, sweaty legs slamming against his own. Warm breath on his neck.  
 _“You smell so good…”_  
That was when he lashed out, insulted Severus.  
I need to be in control, he told himself. I need to take it back.  
“Severus!” He commanded.  
In an instant the dark-haired man was back in the room. He still held the book.  
“I was… it wasn’t you I was angry at.”  
The dark eyes softened.  
“I love your nose. I wouldn’t have it any other way.”  
Snape appeared to be looking at him in the most peculiar way.  
“What?  
“Nothing.” He sat down in the chair opposite and began to read once more.  
***  
“He’s deteriorating.” Narcissa whispered, leading Snape down the vast halls, upon which portraits of many a sneering Malfoy looked down upon him. “I don’t know if he can-“  
“I’ll see him.” Severus said.  
The truth was that, in the past few weeks, after older man was told he could join his family, he had been avoiding Lucius. It was cruel, he knew but it was self-preservation. His feelings for the blond were undermining his and Dumbledore’s plans. He needed a clear head to proceed, particularly in regards to controlling his thoughts.  
This is merely a passing fancy, he told himself. It means nothing.  
Lucius lay on a four poster bed in the middle of a vast room, comprising of a desk the size of his own lounge room, a glass wardrobe the size of his house and an oak chair with gold trim.  
Narcissa closed the door behind them.  
“Lucius?”  
The man curled up on himself.  
“He’ll kill us all, Sev. He’ll start with Draco. I’ve proven myself an unworthy follower.”  
“Sh…Don’t speak.”  
Snape knelt in front of the bed to look him in the face. Blank grey eyes stared back at him. He’d shut his mind.  
“Why are you here? If you don’t have an answer for me, then you can leave. You can’t probe my mind!”  
“You’ve been stripped of everything. Your dignity, your masculinity, your confidence but still your managing to hold it together-“  
“I’m not holding it together!”  
“Yes, you are. I’ve seen you at the meetings. It must be so hard to show such strength.”  
“I have to! Draco…”  
“I know.”  
He leant forward and cupped the beloved face tenderly in his hands. Lucius didn’t flinch as he moved forward, tenderly kissing him, tongues gently stroking.  
“I love you, Lucius.”  
He meant it.  
Merlin’s Beard. He truly meant it.  
Severus veritably fled the room.  
***  
“What is it you wish to show me?” Lucius lowered his black hood, his white blond hair glowing in the moonlight. Severus’ shiver was only partly from the cold. Both stood on a deserted country road. Barbed wire fences bordered either side, behind which a few cows dotted the craggy landscape.  
“This.”  
He held out the end of the letter he’d found in Sirius’ place. Lily’s part of the photograph he still kept firmly tucked in his pocket.  
Lucius took the letter and read it, brow furrowed.  
“I don’t-“  
Snape took the letter from his hands and tore it to pieces.  
“I went back to Sirius’ old place. Ransacked it until I found this letter. I wanted to find something of hers. Anything. And do you know what I felt when I read it? Nothing. Nothing at all.”  
This wasn’t entirely true. He had felt guilt. Overwhelming, bitter guilt. He was betraying her, with his love for Lucius. Betraying her memory. She had died to stop people being called mudblood, to cease muggle torture and the victimization of ones that weren’t pure blood.  
A sport Lucius had no hesitation in doing.  
He kept the torn photograph of her to remind himself what she sacrificed herself for. And how much further he had to go.  
Severus had not cried in over ten years. But he let the tears flow. In some ways, it was a relief to be letting her go, finally. In other ways, this was worse. He’d put himself and Lucius in terrible danger.  
“You were right. I was chasing a ghost. For so long, I was denying myself what was right in front of me.”  
Lucius’ grey eyes widened slightly, and then he veritably grinned. He looked a lot younger, suddenly. A lot like Draco.  
“Although I take issue with a lot of things about you, I can’t deny it any longer.” He sighed, almost crossly. “I do love you.”  
Lucius crossed the distance between them and grabbed the back of Severus’ hair, pulling him into the kiss. It was strange, after so many years of wishing to tell Lily that he loved her, it was so simple to say it to Lucius. Both pulled back, Lucius’ hand still in his hair, face grinning slightly.  
“When all of this is over and the Dark Lord succeeds, I will give you your own school, Sev. A school with proper students. Full blood students.”  
Damn it! Severus pushed the anger down. Why did he have to spoil the moment with his ridiculous beliefs?  
He smiled.  
“Of course, my love. Of course.”  
***  
The elderly muggles screamed in agony, spasming ferociously. Lucius, Crabbe and Goyle simply idly stood by and watched. Snape put on his traveling cloak. The fun had begun for the other Death Eaters (now that Voldemort had given them the owners of the house the meeting had been in to toy with). However, as far as he was concerned, the meeting was over, hence he could leave.  
“Where are you going?” Lucius demanded. Snape turned to face him.  
“I have no need to stay any longer and engage in this boredom. I’ll see you later.”  
Lucius had sent Narcissa and Draco home after the meeting but had been ordered by Voldemort to stay and ransack the place. However, Snape suspected that once he’d accomplished this, Lucius would join the others in the muggle torture.  
“Severus-“  
Snape shook his head and moved out of the house. He refused to be near Lucius when he showed his vicious side of his personality. He would have thought the prison would have taken this from him. If anything, it made him worse.  
He had not seen much of his lover the past few months, being too busy with his work as a spy. When he did see him, he sometimes wondered if he’d made a mistake. Perhaps it would have been best to stay constantly betrothed to Lily, if only in his head. This was particularly true when Lucius displayed the complete lack of empathy or compassion towards anyone not 'pure blood'.  
Snape had been surprised that his animal was still a doe. When questioning the portrait of Dumbledore about it, after releasing the doe for Potter to find the Gryffindor sword, Dumbledore had replied;  
“She will always be with you, Severus. The love changes but the essence of it stays the same. You’re still doing this for her, for her sacrifice.”  
“Why do you encourage me to be with Lucius?”  
“Because you can’t not be with him. And, I’m hoping that you might be able to convince him to change sides. I doubt it but it’s a small hope.”  
Snape had grunted at that.  
Lucius change sides? At the time it was inconceivable.  
Snape apparated to the front of his house.  
Even now, it was…  
Or was it? If someone threatened Draco, wouldn’t Lucius do everything he could to help him, even if it went going against his Lord?  
Or Narcissa? Or even…  
Himself.  
If he was killed, would Lucius mourn him? Would he seek revenge? Or would he continue on with his life, as though he was of no consequence?  
Of course not, he scolded himself, as he took out his key. For some inane reason you can’t fathom, he loves you. He loves you in a way Lily never did.  
Severus’ hands started to shake.  
 _I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Lily. I wish I’d, if only I’d…_  
The usual self recrimation came back.  
Snape let himself in and put his head in his hands.  
***  
Lucius almost ran into the two. He was moving out of the room, when the two stepped in.  
“Ah, good. I was just about to-“  
“Expelliarmus!”  
The blond’s wand flew out of his hands to the Elder Crabbe’s grasp.  
“What are you doing? We don’t have time for fooling around!”  
The bigger man fingered his wand, smiling a little.  
“Give it back to me! Now! Now, Crabbe!” He allowed a little irritation to show in his inflections.  
“Oh, we’re not going anywhere.” Elder Goyle said. It was at this moment that Lucius felt some trepidation. These were fellow Death Eaters! Surely they wouldn’t-  
Thin vine like chords suddenly flew out of Crabbe’s wand, wrapping themselves around Lucius, over toppling him. He opened his mouth to scream, only to have them cover his lips, muffling the sound.  
“You see, Lucius, the Dark Lord was very pleased with how we took care of that meddlesome Minister of Magic. So much so that he offered us a reward for our efforts.”  
The familiar, lustful smile sent a jolt of terror through their fellow Death Eater.  
“Well, it was more we asked him. And seeing as you haven’t been of much use to him lately, he conceded.” Goyle said. “Do you think him demanding you to stay here after everyone else had left was an accident?”  
He cut the rope free around Lucius’ mouth, as the other worked to cut through the ropes running over his thighs and ass.  
“Wait! We can come to an accord!”  
“Oh yes.” It took all of the man’s strength not to flinch from the hand cupping his jaw. “What accord would that be?”  
“I can give you everything you want. You want power, esteem-“  
”That won’t work, Lucius!” Goyle shouted. “The Malfoy name is worth nothing now. You are nothing but a slut!” He tore his robes open at the back from ankle to shoulder. Lucius’ usually sharp mind was working in overdrive, as he fought back his humiliation of now having his ass exposed to their lustful gazes.  
“I’ve wanted this for so long…” Hands roughly kneaded his ass cheeks.  
Both looked at each other, grinning.  
“Say it, Lucius.”  
The blond shook his head.  
“Say it or we might pay sweet little Draco a visit!”  
Lucius swore and mightily struggled.  
“You vermin! You filthy, disgusting-“  
“He’s not going to say it.” Crabbe said.  
“OK, then his delightful child-“  
“Wait, wait. Please…” Tears pricked at his eyes. “Please take me.”  
He slumped to the ground, disappearing in his mind as a weight fell onto his back.  
Crabbe moaned, teeth clamping on his shoulder.  
He could feel the cock touch his entrance and braced himself for the pain to follow.  
That was when the familiar velvet voice rang out.  
“Lucius, I-“  
The door opened. The two men froze.  
“Expelliarmus! Expelliarmus!”  
Both Crabbe and Goyle flew across the room and slammed into the wall opposite, before slumping, unconscious, to the ground.  
He looked up to see Severus with his wand raised, black eyes full of terrible, overpowering fury.  
“No, no, Sev. They’ll hurt Draco. You shouldn’t have! They’ll go after Draco.” He struggled with his binds.  
“No, they won’t. Avada Kedavra! Avada Kedavra!”  
Lucius could only stare at the slack bodies a moment.  
“What have you done?” He whispered.  
Severus said nothing, simply stepped over and held up his wand, undoing the binds with an easy flick.  
“These idiots continued to stay in the house long after you’ve left and were picked off by the Orders of the Phoenix. Let me tell him. He’ll believe me. I was always better at Occulemency than you were.”  
Lucius hastily stood up, shaking. He stared at the bodies, mind racing.  
“We should leave now.”  
“Wait!” Severus took off his cloak and handed it to Lucius, who was suddenly aware of his ripped clothes.  
“I’m coming to yours.”  
It was in violation of the Dark Lord’s wishes but Severus had no choice but to say yes.

Tbc…


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Notes: Thank to all reading/commenting/kudo'ing :)

As soon as Snape opened the front door, Lucius stormed past him, literally knocking him aside.  
"We don't have much time." He said, pointing his wand at the cupboard ajar to the bookcase. The doors slammed open before the pensieve flew across the room, slamming down into the coffee table. A few books moved out of the way to avoid being squashed.  
"What are you doing?" Severus closed and locked the door behind them, then placed a quick protective charm on it. Certainly, the house was protected by the Fidelus charm, the only people with knowledge of its location were the Malfoy family (Bellatrix unfortunately included), a few other Death Eaters and Dumbledore. Still, Severus didn't want to take any chances.  
"I'm going to do the 'Lebilious Potion'. Go get the necessary ingredients." Lucius ordered, holding his wand against this temple, pulling out a long silvery thread and dumping it in the basin.  
Snape expected as much. The Lebilious Potion was a very complicated potion in which a wizard implanted a different memory in their mind of an event, to be recovered when the mind was probed through occlumency.  
"No, I'm not going to-"  
"Get the potions!" Lucius said in a voice that brokered no argument.  
"Fine, I'll get the ingredients. But I'll do it. I was always better at this. You know this."  
"No, I have to be the one."  
Severus looked at the swirling image in the bowl; Lucius' anguished face as he was forced face down onto a bed and brutalised.  
"What makes you think you're better at it?" Lucius suddenly looked up, eyes blazing. "Because you're really a spy for the dead old man?"  
Severus was too shocked to momentarily stop the flow of images that the other surely saw. Memories of him with Dumbledore in his office, the headmaster advising him to tell the truth as to when Harry Potter would be moved. Of course, people had been suggesting it for a long time. But this time Lucius wasn't guessing, or trying to probe. He was informing.  
"I'd suspected for a long time. It was confirmed when I saw _her_ in your mind."  
Snape felt a strange calm fall over himself.  
"Interesting story, Lucius but-"  
Lucius pointed his wand at him. Severus jumped. A clinking sound turned him. Potions bottles whizzed through the door leading to the back rooms and towards the pensieve.  
"I have been hiding this from the Dark Lord ever since I found out. Which marks me as just as good as you, if not better. When Bellatrix tried to convince me, I protected you."  
"Lucius...I don't know what fantasies..." He flailed.  
"Don't deny it, Severus. Don't do that to me now." He didn't sound angry, merely extremely tired.  
"If you suspect this, why haven't you told the others?"  
Lucius said nothing. In the pensieve, the man kissed his neck and climbed off him, only to be replaced moments later by a second man, who instantly started thrusting. Lucius, for his part, lay still as a statue beneath, grey eyes deadened.  
"You shouldn’t see this." He said quietly.  
"You've been questioning it, haven't you? Ever since you got out, you've been secretly questioning it. The others don't see it, but I do."  
Lucius smiled. "I always thought you were the truest Slytherin out of all of us. Because you will always played both sides until the side that will win becomes apparent. Now you've secretly made your choice. And you're wrong. The Dark Lord will be victorious."  
"Tonight was about me." Severus said. "A test of loyalties. What will my reaction be after seeing my lover violated again and knowing he let it happen? You let Harry and the others escape, from your mansion no less. Ergo, you are nothing to him."  
Lucius' wand hand started to shake.  
"My family... My only chance is to play along with him. Severus..." He took a deep shaky breath. "I can't let Draco be hurt. I'll do anything. Anything at all..."  
Severus took the wand from his grasp, concentrating on the final incantation. He then put the hard wood down on the coffee table and turned to his lover. The rapists swirling in the basin now looked like Elder Crabbe and Goyle. Snape reached up and placed his fingers on Lucius' cheek. Both met eyes. The Potions Master tried to probe Lucius’ mind, but could only see his own image looking back.  
"When I first came to the Malfoy Mansion, I came across a Mozart cd." Severus said. "When I recall asking why you, of all people, own muggle music. You said, and I’ll always remember this 'Beauty rarely transcends. But when it does, it's all the more beautiful for it.'"  
The blond looked as though he'd struck him a blow.  
"It was never about the Dark Lord for you. Not entirely. It was really about increasing your esteem and power within the Ministry. You saw the Dark Lord as a way to achieve this. When you feared him gone, you renounced him. You were Dark, yes. I'm not denying your hatred for all things muggle and not pure blood. Just like I used to be. Hatred that's been bred into a child is hard to break. The prison stole a lot from you. A lot that I miss. You don't laugh as much... It also stole that sense of arrogance, of being above. You’re humbled now and the Dark Lord sees it."  
He looked into the grey eyes, bringing out an image of himself, lying next to his lover. His black hair contrasted so well against the white sheets, whereas Lucius was so pale he blended into them. His lover brushed the hair off his face and opened his eyelids with the tips of his fingers.  
Lucius suddenly recoiled, face awash with anger, and disgust. But there was also fear and sorrow there too.  
Snape broke eye contact.  
Lucius picked up his wand and placed it to his temple. The contents of the pensieve twisted and turned their way back into his mind.  
"You were very close to never waking that night. But then I thought that your death would take too much explaining. I needed proof. But you, duplicitous snake, will forever slime your way out of trouble."  
"Fine, we'll go to the Dark Lord right now. Tell him everything you know. I won't deny it."  
"Don't be stupid, Severus!" Lucius snapped.  
"Tell me, Lucius the one's who attacked you, what were they?"  
"They were animals." The blond said slowly. "They were lower than the slime that crawls over the lowest earth. They were-"  
"I'm asking were they muggle or pure-blood? Were they half blood like me? What were they?"  
Lucius' face went stony, eyes deadened of emotion.  
"Be quiet." He said quietly.  
"Were you raped by mudbloods? Do you even know?"  
The blond lifted his wand.  
"I said be quiet!"  
Severus easily deflected the hex.  
"A mudblood left his semen inside of you. No, more than one. Mudbloods-"  
"Shut your mouth, Severus!"  
Another hex easily deflected.  
"Or were they half blood? You let me take you. That means half blood semen."  
A third hex deflected.  
"What were they Lucius?! I can tell you what they were. I looked it up. They were pure blood. There were no half-bloods or muggle born in the prison at that time."  
Both stared at each other a moment. The blond pointed his wand at the pensieve. The pensieve, the books and the coffee table they were on exploded to ash. He then directed it at the bookcase. Books flew out of the case and around the room, smashing into each other and tearing each other up. Snape ducked, to avoid the violent maelstrom.  
"Please don't touch the books on the top shelf, Lucius."  
The maelstrom finished as quickly as it had started, all the books dropping to the ground. Lucius put his wand up once more. The books on the top shelf exploded.  
"Damn you!" He shouted, watching the books his mother had given him merely days before she died now reduced to ash. He turned to his lover, not sure what he was going to do, just needing revenge, for him to pay for this uncharacteristically impulsive move.  
Lucius regarded him with unreadable expression. Was it almost...remorse? No, couldn't possibly be so. Lucius Malfoy hadn't the capacity to feel remorse.  
"How dare you, Severus." He indicated the ruined items in the room. "I'll replace it all."  
"The books on the top shelf were invaluable." Snape snapped. "Pay whatever galleons you want. No money will replace them."  
"Don't expect me to feel pity for you after what you said!" He replied, rising to the bait.  
"I was telling you the truth." Severus said quietly.  
Lucius gazed at him a long moment, before apparating out of the room.  
***  
"Very well." The Dark Lord finally turned his snake like gaze from Lucius' grey eyes. "We know now they were idiotic enough to stay in the house after taking you long enough for the Order to get him."  
In the background, Draco still continued to softly sob. Narcissa simply sat rigid, face rather pale.  
"So, some ragaband followers of the rotting corpse are still attempting to win this war. How very amusing."  
"My source tells me a couple were spotted in the area that night." Dolov spoke up. Snape couldn't help but show some surprise for this supporting information.  
"Hmm...so, tell me Lucius do you feel you have suffered enough for my cause?"  
In the background, Draco gave an almighty sob, which he immediately stifled.  
"It is your bidding." He said, differentially.  
"And you, Severus? What do you feel about the fact that your lover was brutally raped at my command."  
"Your command is always just." Said Severus coldly. "Lucius has failed you more than once. Besides, he's so used to this kind of behaviour, I wouldn't even call it rape. He probably liked it."  
Voldemort laughed, his high pitched cold voice drifting up to the stormy clouds. A few of the others, including Bellatrix joined him. Draco simply stared at Snape, his shock and anger clear in his expression.  
"My, my Severus." He looked amused at the hurt that crossing Lucius' face.  
"Now, listen my fellow companions. You all have stood with me throughout. We plan now for total victory. There is but one more place that stands in our way."  
Severus didn't need the Dark Lord to say what that was.  
He was already the Headmaster of it.  
***  
Lucius said nothing to Snape following him and the other two to the Malfoy Mansion. As soon as they arrived in the grand lounge, Lucius simply turned and walked out of the room without looking back. Draco pulled out his wand and pointed it at Snape.  
"Draco! Put that down!" Narcissa said.  
"How could you say such things about my own Father?" His eyes were still wet with tears.  
"Draco think about it! He had to!" Narcissa said.  
"What else could I have said?" He spoke very slowly. "I'm as disgusted and angry about this as we all are. But I couldn't let the Dark Lord know that."  
"Why not?"  
"Because he wanted to test me. All loyalty must be to him. At all times."  
"But...my Dad...I hate him!" He said suddenly, viciously.  
"Draco!" Narcissa started to pale. "Don't think that! Please don't say that. Please..."  
"He let my Dad be hurt. And he laughed about it!"  
"Draco, listen here." Snape knelt in front of him, taking him by the shoulders and making eye contact. "You must hide these feelings from him, understand? Remember your occlumency. If he thinks you feel even the slightest bit against him, he will kill you. He'll kill your parents."  
Draco broke down again, tears running down his cheeks.  
"I d-d-don't know w-w-what to do. I d-d-didn't want Dumbledore t-to die."  
Narcissa rushed over and gathered him up in her arms, holding him tight. Both looked frightfully vulnerable in that moment.  
"Go to Lucius, Severus." Tears glistened on her cheeks. "He needs you now."  
***  
He found the blond in the main bedroom, sitting upright on the four poster bed, knees drawn to his chest with his head on his knees. It was a position Severus had never seen him in before and made him look very young.  
"It worked." Lucius said as he sat down on the bed before him. "You doubted my abilities."  
"I'm sorry about what I said-"  
"You had no choice. What else would you have said?"  
"It still hurt you greatly. I didn't mean it. I don't believe that at all." He added.  
Lucius finally looked up at him.  
"You're right. I can't just let go of years of hatred that's been bred into me. No, that's untrue. I hate everyone now. Mudbloods-"  
"Please don't say that word!"  
"Muggles, pure-bloods, half-bloods. I want to destroy everyone and everything. Perhaps it would be best, if I destroyed myself."  
Snape felt an ugly panic grip his stomach.  
"I will most probably die at the end of this. Please tell me you will do everything in your power to survive until the end."  
"No, you musn’t-" Lucius protested.  
"I thought you didn't care what happened to anyone?"  
"No, I can't let anything happen to you or Narcissa or Draco." He looked utterly forlorn. "I can't tell Draco the truth, can I? That tonight was a lie. It's too dangerous."  
"But it wasn't a lie, Lucius. You just changed the faces. You were still raped."  
Snape could barely believe what happened next. The man before him always appeared so composed, so in control.  
It was frightening to see him suddenly put his head in his hands, great shudders going through his body as he sobbed heavily. Snape looked around for a tissue box. There seemed to be none in the room. Lucius' face was a mess of tears and snot. He was wiping his nose on his robes, which only increased the pitiful sight.  
"My son...Draco...that he knows my greatest shame. I can't look him in the eye again."  
"Lucius! Draco doesn't see it as shameful. Instead, he's furious. Lucius he's furious at the Dark Lord for letting this happen."  
Lucius gasped for breath, wiping at his eyes with the back of his hands.  
"He's...he's...he'll get himself killed!" He suddenly jumped up.  
"Lucius!" Snape grabbed him by the hem of his cloak. "He knows occlumency. He can hide his true feelings."  
"But he's not strong enough yet! The Dark Lord will see straight through him."  
Snape felt a strange elation spread through his stomach. Lucius wasn't at all angry with Draco for turning against their Master.  
He's turned. Snape suddenly realised. He'll go along with the Dark Lord to keep his family safe but he no longer truly believes in him.  
Voldemort's mistrust and punishment of his own followers was becoming his undoing. His closest advisers; the Malfoys and himself were now secretly against him.  
"What?" Lucius sounded exasperated.  
Severus leant forward and kissed him on the lips.  
"Nothing will happen to him. You have my word."  
"I don't want anything to happen to you, either." Lucius' face crumpled. "You don't believe you'll make it out of this alive, do you? You're willing to die for your beliefs."  
"Everyone should be equal, Lucius. I'm willing to lay down my life so that everyone; muggles, half-bloods and pure-bloods are treated the same. With dignity and respect. With humanity."  
There it was. He'd finally said it. The words hung in the air between them a moment. He half expected Lucius to take out his wand and blast him with the killing curse.  
"What happened to you only further resolves my determination."  
He felt sickened, recalling the Dark Lords utter debasement of Lucius that night.  
The Death Eaters stood in a circle when Lucius was beckoned forward.  
"I sense shame...does this mean the two succeeded in their ravishment of you before they were dispatched?"  
Draco gasped out loud.  
Voldemort laughed.  
"You haven't told your family? Well? Go on. Tell them what you did tonight."  
Lucius was silent a moment too long, earning him a shot of the cruciatus curse.  
Lucius then turned to his family and explained, in what was surely the most humiliating moment of their lives that he was raped by the Elder Goyle and Crabbe that night, going into more detail while prompted by the amused Voldemort. Severus was infuriated to see many of the other Death Eaters appeared aroused by the graphic information. Indeed, some of the men sported erections under their robes. Severus felt utterly queasy with horror and longed to take out his wand and castrate the lot of them.  
"They're all such utter idiots." Lucius now said, grey eyes flashing. "And that includes our Dark Lord and Dumbledore. They all sicken me."  
Snape felt as though he'd been slapped in the face. He found he couldn’t say anything.  
"It's hard to erase hatred that's been bred into me, Severus." He said, quietly. "If the Dark Lord is defeated, don't expect me to run out and join a pro-muggle parade. I can leave them be. I'll give you that much."  
He caught the look on his lover's face.  
"You're wondering why."  
"No, I...I think there are a lot of reasons why...I'm just surprised to hear you say it."  
The corner of his lover's mouth twitched into a smile. "You are one of those reasons. You know that, don't you? If something is so important to you, then I can't help but consider it."  
He laughed.  
"The look on your face is priceless."  
Severus couldn't help but laugh himself. It had been too long since he'd heard that sound. He suddenly seized his lover into a passionate kiss, that Lucius returned with equal amour.  
By Merlon’s Beard, to finally be happy. To finally have everything he wanted right there. In that instant, as he pushed Lucius back onto the bed, nothing mattered, not Dumbledore, not Lily, not the Dark Lord. There was only him and his lover.  
"Severus..." He sighed, as the dark haired man started to unclasp his robes, kissing his neck fiercely.  
"Severus!" There was some fear in the voice.  
Snape stopped, allowed Lucius to turn him, so he was on top, leaning down to kiss him on the mouth, hands hastily opening his robes. Severus reached to touch his lover, only to have his hands pinned above his head, as Lucius licked his way down his chest. The blond untied his pants and reached into grasp him with his free hand, stroking him to hardness with ease.  
"Lucius..." He wiggled under him. "Let me touch you."  
The blond let go of his hands. He instantly undid the clasp holding his lover's pants closed, stroking his cock in unison. Lucius kissed his way back up his chest and looked at him in the face, grinning and leaning down to taste his lips once more.  
Severus turned them so he was now on top. He looked down at the sweating, panting man beneath him.  
"Damn you're beautiful." He sighed.  
Lucius froze, then shoved him back, off the bed. Severus fell painfully on his ass. He clambered up to see his lover clasping his robes back together once more and felt a jolt of guilt.  
"I'm sorry." He said, as he rearranged his clothes, covering his still aching cock.  
"Do you want me to...?" Lucius gestured.  
"No."  
He noted that fear had subsided Lucius' erection.  
"You must think I'm-"  
Snape climbed back onto the bed, taking the beloved face in his hands and kissing it.  
"I think you're incredible."

tbc...


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to all reading/reviewing/sending kudos
> 
> Second last chapter :)

The last thing he saw, before succumbing to his injuries, were Lily's eyes. There was a sense of relief, as he poured, out of his body, all of the memories pertinent to Harry Potter.  
It had worked. He had succeeded.  
Lucius was right.  
In the end, he had been able to sacrifice himself for the cause.

Severus suddenly found himself on Platform 9 3/4, a familiar face beaming at him. Standing beside the old man was a pretty woman with long red hair and striking green eyes.  
"Well done, Severus." Dumbledore said, engulfing him in a hug. "You succeeded."  
They released.  
"Albus?"  
Tears fell down the wizened old face.  
"I'm sorry, Severus. My poor dear child. That you had to sacrifice yourself in such a way."  
"It was worth it."  
Snape found himself looking at Lily, rather than Dumbledore.  
"Sev... I never knew...I'm so sorry. If I'd known.... I abandoned you. You were my best friend. I should have tried more. I should have-"  
"No, I should have told you Lily."  
"You had such a terrible life." Tears fell down her cheeks. She quickly wiped them away with the back of her hand.  
"I...I loved you Lily." He glanced to Dumbledore, who had suddenly found a bird twittering at the end of the platform to be worthy of his attention.  
"I know. And I'm sorry. I'm really sorry for everything you had to go through."  
"It was worth it." He repeated.  
Lily nodded, wiping tears from her eyes once more.  
"We lost so much."  
Dumbledore focused his attention on them once more.  
"The train's coming soon, to take us. Are you coming, Severus?"  
"I have a choice?" Snape asked, astounded.  
Dumbledore smiled. "Of course. There’s always a choice."  
Snape looked to Lily, who smiled. He looked at Dumbledore. He thought of his Mother. He would see her again.  
Lucius' face flashed in his mind.  
"I'm sorry, Lily. I...it was meant to be for you. And then I...with Lucius. I betrayed you."  
Puzzlement creased the delicate features. "How did you betray me?"  
"Yes, I don't understand, Severus." Dumbledore said. "You succeeded where I never thought you would. You got Lucius to rethink beliefs put into him from childhood. . That is a major achievement."  
"You are the bravest man I know." Lily said quietly.  
"Oh, I second that quite proudly." Dumbledore said. His smile turned to a frown. "I must tell you, Severus that there is a catch if you want to go back."  
"I think I know what you're about to say. I couldn't go back to Hogwarts. No one could know that I was alive."  
"The story of your sacrifice works most powerfully if people believe you to be dead."  
Severus nodded.  
"However, it is still your choice." Dumbledore said quietly.  
***  
"Draco!" Lucius raced through the halls of the school, Narcissa not far behind him. He cursed anyone who got in his way, not even bothering any more whether they were Deatheater or student. He had to get to his son. He had to save Draco.  
He finally found him in the Great Hall, crouched up under the table. Lucius blasted a Death Eater out of his way and rushed over to him.  
"Draco." He pulled him out from under the table and into his arms. "You're ok?" He searched him over for any injuries. Draco was crying and shaking but otherwise unharmed.  
"Draco." Narcissa wrapped her arms around her son, kissing him on his head, tears sliding off his silver hair.  
Lucius felt too exhausted to show any emotion. Even the thought of Severus' death didn't affect him in that moment. He felt simply numb.  
"Oh thank you thank you thank you." He didn't know who he was thanking.  
He felt simply overwhelmed his family had survived.  
They were safe.  
***  
"If I were to go back..."  
"We'll be beside you always." Lily said.  
Snape looked at Dumbledore.  
"It's up to you, my dear man. Your Mother would love to see you. So would your Father. You two have a lot to work through. But Lucius still needs you."  
"I love him." Severus said. He looked at Lily and realised he didn't feel any guilt in saying it.  
"We still have a lot to work out. I can't leave him. Not now."  
Dumbledore laughed and clapped his hands. "I would expect no less of you, Severus. We should let you go back. But before you do, there's someone who wants to talk to you."  
A third figure suddenly materialised before him, smiling a little awkwardly.  
"Hello Severus."  
"Sirius." He grunted, wondering what this was about. What was Sirius Black, of all people, doing here in _his_ afterlife?  
"Let's go for a walk." He was young and beautiful now, looking the way he had been in high school. Severus hesitantly walked the edge of the platform with him, away from the other two.  
"We got off the wrong foot with each other from the beginning. I'd say mainly because I was an asshole." Sirius admitted. "I'm sorry about that."  
Severus was unsure how to take this. Maybe in the afterlife it was all 'let's forgive each other'.  
Sirius barked with laughter.  
"Still wanting to hold onto that bitterness? Ok, that's your call. I'm not here to talk about us. I'm here to talk about Lucius."  
"Lucius." Severus stopped abruptly. "What about Lucius?"  
Sirius turned to him and sighed.  
"I was in Azkaban as well."  
The brunet felt a sudden queasiness engulf him.  
"But you were there when the Dementors-"  
"It doesn't matter. I was young. I was handsome, cocky." He collapsed down in the station seat behind himself and put his head in his hands. When he looked up, his eyes had grown cold, his face hardened. "They came into my cell the second day. The ones that the Dementors hadn't made lose their mind. They tore off my clothes and raped me. Over and over. Every way they could. It went on for days. Finally, the Dementors came, pulled them out, put them back in their cells. It kept happening. Not with the same severity and not as often. When I finally escaped, I remember just thinking how shamed I felt. How angry. I just wanted revenge. I was so ashamed, I pushed away the only person I loved."  
"Remus Lupin." Snape felt sickened at what Black was telling him.  
"I could barely even look at him. I-I never told him. And he suffered for it. He tried to move on. I know. Tried to make a loveless marriage work. He's here, now."  
"Lupin's dead?" Snape said.  
Sirius nodded. "I told him everything. And he accepted me. That's the main thing. I thought, in my shame, that he'd disown me. I was 'used goods'. But he didn't."  
Snape felt something he never thought he'd feel towards his enemy. Pity.  
"You accepted Lucius even after you found out what they'd done to him. If you go back, he's not going to make it easy for you. He'll still be shamed, he'll still have nightmares, flashbacks, mood swings. Your sex-life is going to suck."  
"I don't care." Snape said defiantly.  
Sirius smirked  
"Maybe this is why you and I never got along. We're too similar. Both stubborn as hell. Just, try and be there for him."  
"I will."  
A whistle sounded in the distance.  
"Well, thank you, Black." He said.  
"Sure."  
The train rushed to the station.  
"We'll be seeing you in about thirty years." Dumbledore said, embracing him.  
"You lie! It's closer to forty." Lily likewise embraced him.  
All four watched as the express pulled up into the station.  
"I'll be going back." Snape said, suddenly feeling awkward. Lily and Sirius stepped onto the train.  
"Oh, I'll be staying here." Dumbledore said. "I'll be expecting someone to arrive soon."  
Severus shook his head and walked towards the exit.  
***  
After the third night, the shock finally wore off. He found himself making his way to Severus' house. He still wasn't sure what exactly had happened. After the trauma of the war, there was still confusion as to who was and wasn't against the Dark Lord. At the ministry, Harry Potter had already spoken about the Malfoy's changing sides at the last minute, Narcissa actually denying him being alive to their supposed master. As of the moment, they hadn't been charged with anything. Not that there was anyone to charge them with anything. The Ministry was a mess.  
The only thing for sure was Severus' heroic final actions. A lot of people had been around to hear Harry tell the Dark Lord that his closest ally had turned against him, had always been Dumbledore's man. In a time of much fear and distrust, the Head of Slytherin House and Hogwarts last Headmaster was being touted by the newspapers as a brave hero, one to rival Harry Potter himself.  
The fact that his body was not found only added to the allure. There were some rumours that he was still alive. Many believed a fellow Death Eater had come across his body and transfigured and buried it.  
As much as Lucius wanted to believe the former, he was certain that the latter was most probably true.  
He had heard the Snape's portrait wasn't in the headmaster's office, which intrigued him. Draco, upon hearing that, became very excited, convinced that somehow Snape survived. Lucius knew better than that, however. No one had ever survived Nagini's bite.  
He stood in the centre of Severus' lounge. The coffee table hadn't been replaced, its omission too stark in the formerly cramped room. Many of the books were missing off the shelves. Lucius collapsed in the lounge chair, remembering the final argument they'd had here.  
Half blood. He'd let Severus into his body, lovingly wanting it, needing it, much as Severus had allowed him into his. It was never brutal or vicious as it had been with those other men, those pure bloods.  
He'd always wanted it, wanted him. Even when he found out that he was half blood, it didn't turn him away.  
Not that it mattered now.  
Lucius recalled those days after he was released from prison, simply sitting with Snape, reading together, the candlelight dancing upon his lover’s raven hair. He always looked his most pleasant while reading, expression softened, dark eyes deep in concentration.  
It was too much. Far too much to take in.  
I can't... he told himself. How do I get myself back? What can I do?  
***  
Severus found himself back in his body, instantly regretting his decision. The pain was excruciating. Things were quiet now, the sounds of the battle far away. He managed to crawl slowly, painfully across the floor, somehow making his way out of the Shrieking Shack in tiny increments. Staying hidden was imperative, he knew.  
For three days, he hid himself in the forest, while he recuperated. His next plan was to pick a few things up from his place, then decide what to do next. He had no idea what was happening with the wizarding world, who had survived, who hadn't. All he was aware of was his overwhelming desire to see Lucius again. He had to have survived. Lucius Malfoy didn’t die.  
Using his usual stealth and cunning, he was able to secretly work his way back to his old neighbourhood, using the key in his door and opening it.  
Lucius stood in the centre of his room, wand raised.  
Severus could only stare at him a moment, mesmerised. He knew in that instant he'd made the right decision.  
The pale eyes widened slightly.  
"If you're truly Severus, Tell me something only you would know." He demanded.  
"The night Draco was accepted as a Slytherin, you came to visit Hogwarts. You kept complaining you felt cold, so I started the fire. We made love on my Dungeon floor and were caught by Dumbledore, who appeared in the fire and didn't know you'd come to visit. He seemed to find it amusing.."  
Lucius lowered the wand.  
"Do you know what you were doing, when Dumbledore not so kindly interrupted us?"  
His lover shook his head.  
Severus smiled. "You were laughing."  
A rueful smile touched the corners of the other's mouth. Severus recalled Lucius' long legs wrapped around his waist, the heat and friction as he moved within his lover, deliberately angling himself in such a way to cause the blond to groan with desire, his hands running over the sweat slicked chest. He leant forward, needing to feel the warmth of his body, the skin to skin contact, to taste his mouth.  
"I want you." Lucius whispered.  
"You have me. You couldn't have more of me."  
Lucius smiled. "Yes, I could." He kissed the pale shoulder. "I could eat you." He bit gently.  
"Am I tasty?"  
"Bitter...like your potions."  
Severus bit softly into his neck.  
"Aristocratic blood..." He smirked.  
"Tastes like..." Lucius said and moaned.  
Severus bit him once more in the shoulder.  
"Sirius Black."  
His lover's face stilled a moment in shock, before he burst out laughing, then gasped in shock and stilled, his head directed towards the flames. Snape turned his head. Dumbledore's very embarrassed face was now sticking out of the flames.  
"Oh! Excuse me."  
The head disappeared.  
Severus looked to Lucius, expecting to see fury and wilting embarrassment. Instead, there was mirth

"And after Dumbledore's head disappeared, you laughed even more. Then you said you found it erotic, the idea that we were caught out."

Lucius rolled them so he was on top, stroking his own nipples then reaching down to his cock, moaning as he impaled himself over and over. For his part, Snape could only watch in amazement.

The Lucius now in Severus' house walked forward and put his hand to Severus' cheek.  
"This isn't a dream?"  
Snape shook his head. "No."  
"But how did you?"  
"I did die. I went to Platform 93/4. Dumbledore was there. And Lily. And, oddly enough, Sirius Black. They told me I had a choice."  
"But how did you survive the snake bite? Harry Potter told everyone you'd been bitten by Nagini."  
"I was."  
"Then what happened?"  
"I told you, I died. I was told to come back."  
A slight mirth appeared in the grey eyes then. "Come, now Sev. That was obviously a hallucination, bought on by the poison in your body. In other words, you don't know how you survived."  
Severus gave up trying to convince Lucius of the truth.  
"I had to survive, to see you again."  
Lucius collapsed on the rickety armchair.  
"I'm damaged, Sev. I've no dignity any more. We've lost everything."  
Severus felt his heart ache to see once proud, strong lover now so low.  
He knelt before the chair. Lucius started to stroke his hair.  
"The great Severus Snape. They're championing your name around the wizarding world."  
"I only want to be with you. That's all I want."  
"And I, you."  
Severus roze to sit on Lucius and placed his lips on his lover's, relishing the taste and feel of him. Lucius groaned and gripped his hair tighter, almost painfully. Both released, panting.  
"Draco never doubted you. He kept saying, again and again that you'd return. I'm sorry, Sev. I didn't want to think of it. But I secretly thought-"  
"It doesn't matter."  
"What have I done? All this ridiculous pure blood nonsense. I put Draco in danger. He could have died! I've warped my own boy's mind and for what? I finally understood, in the end. None of it mattered. The people from my own side were willing to sacrifice my son. They would have sacrificed their own children. Cissy understood this earlier than I did. I guess I was always the more stubborn one. It made me question what I was really fighting for. My own insane beliefs meant nothing if Draco had died. Or worse...what if they...what they did to me..."  
Severus didn't know what to say. Lucius reached out and cupped his face, kissing him softly once more.  
"The Weasleys, they were so convinced of their righteousness, they sacrificed their children for the cause. Had it been reversed, had they had to make the choice between betraying their leader to save their child, or telling the truth to their leader to win the war, they would have sacrificed the child. I have no doubt about that. That would be the 'brave' thing to do, the 'noble' thing. The difference between Gryffindor and Slytherin. Is saving the child selfish? I guess they would think so."  
"I don't care about the Weasleys. Who died?" He added, as an afterthought.  
"One of the twins. I don't know which one."  
"Hm..." He found he felt no emotion either way about this.  
"I can see it here, the mark on your neck where Nagini bit you." Lucius trailed his finger along the scar, then kissed it. "The Dark Lord betrayed us all in the end."  
"Dumbledore wasn't the saint people made him out to be. He played people for his own ends, shifting out as little information as possible. When it came to Harry Potter, he was willing to sacrifice the boy to destroy the Dark Lord."  
Lucius appeared surprised about this.  
"In the end, we are all shades of grey." Snape conceded. Lucius was silent a long moment.  
"Tell me, what did he say after he made that...interesting discovery. I was always intrigued to know."  
"Let me show you the next day." Severus allowed the memory to come forth. Lucius stared into his eyes.

A much younger Severus stood in the Headmaster's office.  
"Is that all?" He said.  
"One more thing. I trust you implicitly. I don't, however, trust Lucius Malfoy."  
"My private life is not your concern." Severus said.  
"It does when it could endanger everything we are hoping to achieve! I'm not telling you not to engage in this. I'm just warning you to be careful."  
Severus looked furious. "Thank you for your concern."  
Dumbledore sighed, took off his glasses and wiped his crooked nose. "I care for you, Severus. Just try to be safe."

He let the image change. He was now ten years older and this time standing before the Headmaster's portrait.  
"Harry Potter is on his way. You are prepared." Dumbledore said.  
Severus nodded.  
"Lucius Malfoy?"  
The brunet said nothing, simply stared at the portrait.  
"The time I popped my head in the fire and saw you two, there was one thing I neglected to say, for which I apologise now."  
"And what's that?"  
"I'm sorry for disturbing you. I admit I was rather too embarrassed to bring it up. A part of me was happy to see you...so occupied."

He allowed the memory to dissipated.  
Lucius laughed.  
"That condescending bastard."  
"No, never condescending. He meant what he said. I think I knew him more than anyone. He could be very frustrating at times. Sometimes I wanted to give him a good not too threatening curse. But, he was also very honourable, very dedicated-"  
"Severus, I don't want to talk about what a great man you think Dumbledore was."  
"He was a large part of my life." He explained. "In a way, he was my Father. In such, I both loved and despised him."  
"I despised my Father, only to turn out exactly like him."  
"No, you show your love for Draco in so many ways. Your Father neglected you. Draco adores you. that is obvious."  
"I don't want to talk about this." Lucius said.  
"People say Draco looks like you. It's true. He's inherited both yours and Narcissa's beauty. Your wit, your elegance, your intelligence."  
"I think you have some part to play in this. You've been such an influence on him, for so many years. I used to talk about you a lot, at the Ministry, always singing your praises. I don't think it was a surprise to anyone that we were together."  
Severus bit gently on his neck. "It's always been a constant source of surprise for me. for so many years, I considered myself unworthy. Here is the beautiful and powerful Lucius Malfoy."  
Lucius shuddered.  
"That's what the ones in the prison said. They said they wanted to destroy a thing of beauty. They succeeded.”  
"No, you've survived. Please, Lucius, don't speak this way. I don't believe that you're destroyed."  
His lover's face was haunted, grey eyes glittering.  
Severus bent down once more and kissed him.  
"Let's go to bed. We can figure out our next move in the morning."  
Lucius nodded.  
"I'll pay for new furniture." He said, as they moved out of the room.  
Snape waved him away. "The furniture isn't my concern."

As soon as they lay entangled on the bed and pulled the covers up, Lucius' breathing became instantly deeper in indication of sleep. Severus simply couldn’t succumb. He listened to the deep, even breaths of his lover; his stomach wrought with anxiety. Dumbledore was right. The wizarding world believed him to be dead. Yet he refused to leave Lucius. What would this mean? That he would be stuck in the Malfoy mansion the rest of his life?  
His lover whimpered.  
"I'm here." Severus said, leaning forward to breathe the sweat and spicy aftershave he would forever associate with Lucius Malfoy. "I'm not going anywhere. Not ever again."

tbc...


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a short chapter this one. Thanks to all reading, reviewing and kudo'ing! Epilogue coming up.

"Wake up."

No.

Lucius did not wish to awaken from the dream. He could feel Severus Snape’s arms clasped around him, his thin lips light against his ear, long fingers stroking his face.

_Don't open your eyes. Keep them closed, and this will continue. You don't have to awaken to remember the bitter truth of his death._

"Wake up Lucius." A tongue snaked into his mouth, demanding entry.

Only it wasn't Severus. It was someone else. Another man was in his bed, demanding things of him no one should demand. Lucius gasped and pulled back, fumbling for his wand.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

The gaunt face lying merely inches from his own looked stricken to have caused him such alarm. Lucius felt his heart rate return to normal, as the excitement in his stomach increased.

It wasn't a dream after all. Severus was alive and in his bed.

"You're here."

"Of course." His raven-haired lover appeared slightly disgruntled. Yes, this proved it. Snape was never a morning person. Lucius laughed and continued the kiss started earlier, this time slamming the other, wiry body against his own.

"Can we go back to the Mansion today? We have much to discuss."

"Mm..." Lucius' hands wandered freely over the thin body, sucking gently on the ear. Snape pulled back and stared at him a moment, as though memorising the familiar lines of his face.

"Come on." He jumped off the bed.

***

In the hours after the great attack on Hogwarts, Draco felt utterly trapped beneath his parent’s combined embrace. Though the other students ignored them, he sensed the high level of unspoken hostility directed to the huddled three in the far corner of he great hall. Finally unable to bear it any longer, he made an excuse to go to the bathroom and ended up at some abandoned corridor Merlin knows where.

Harry Potter was the last person he expected to see. However, the familiar lean figure practically walked into him while turning the corner. Neither was sure what to say to the other. Finally, Harry nodded and went to continue on.

"You...you saved my life." It was humiliating to admit. The Malfoys were never keen to admit failure. Something, he guessed they would have to do a lot of in the next few months.

Harry stopped, turned back to face him.

"Why aren't you with the others?"

"I needed some time by myself."

Draco nodded.

"I'm sorry... about Snape."

"Don't..." It was too painful to bear thinking about. "I'm sorry about... those you lost." Draco was beyond pettiness now. He simply felt exhausted. Mentally and physically.

"What will you do now?"

"I don't know." Draco admitted. "You?"

"I don't know."

"You? You're Harry Potter." He allowed a little of his former snideness to return.

"You expect me to have all the answers?"

Both lapsed into an uncomfortable silence.

"I didn't want to kill Dumbledore. I really didn't..."

Harry closed his eyes. When he opened them, they were awash with pain.

"I'd better get back."

Two days later, he ran into Harry near the Haunted Shack. Both exchanged small talk, the former nastiness exhausted by their sheer misery, and then sat silently together a long while. At the end, Harry asked to meet him again.

"Why?" Draco felt suspicious.

The brunnet sighed. "I don't know. I just...sometimes I need to get away from everyone. It's too painful. Everyone's lost so much."

Draco felt his body slump.

"See you around, Harry."

He couldn't deal with this. All of this pain and misery. He was used to being happy, of having everything at his beck and call.

###

_I miss Snape. Why did he leave us?_

Five days after the Battle of Hogwarts, Draco lay on his bed, staring up at the fake enchanted ceiling.

It didn't matter at the end. None of it. Who was this Dark Lord he was so desperate to impress?

Draco knew the exact moment he turned on Voldemort. He was standing in a circle of Death Eaters, when his Father was beckoned forward and forced to tell the humiliating details of his debasement.

Draco had never cried so much his entire seventeen years of life. He had felt so utterly helpless, his Father's shame leeching onto him.

Hold it together, he told himself.  
 _I don't know if I can._

Everything was so mixed up, with so many people murdered, his own Mother betraying Voldemort to his eventual destruction and Severus Snape now regarded as a great hero.

He discovered the truth about the relationship between his Father and the Potions Master in his second year at Hogwarts. Late one evening, while traversing a rarely used corridor, Draco overheard excited whispering. Two tall, identical vibrant red-heads, he recognised instantly as the Weasley twins, were evidentially attempting to sell something to two other boys.

“I can’t believe you broke into Snape’s pensieve!” One boy, who he recognised as fellow Slytherin, sounded awed. “If you were caught…”

"Shut up and listen. This is good. Severus Snape, on his hands and knees, being taken from behind by Lucius Malfoy, in his own dungeons."

"And the other one?"

"This one is _very_ good. Snape sucks Lucius off, then he bends him over a desk and fucks him."

"I'm getting hard just thinking about it? How much?"

Distraught and sickened by what he had just heard, Draco had rushed off before the others knew he was there

"Master Malfoy." Interrupted by his thoughts, Draco looked up to a house elf bowing at him, from the foot of his bed. "You are needed downstairs."

The young man nodded wearily and apparated to the downstairs lounge room, where his Mother and Father sat before the woodless fireplace. Between them, next to his Father on the couch-

Draco squawked, eyes wide, unable to communicate to his brain what he was seeing. He reached across to his left arm and pinched hard enough to bring tears to his eyes.

"How?" He asked, then realised he didn't care.

Severus stood, walked over and engulfed him in a momentary hug. He still smelt of his potions. They released and Draco looked him over, relishing every aspect, from the curling dark eyelashes, to the adam's apple. The young man put a hand to his mouth.

"You-" He suddenly and inexplicably burst out crying, then cursed himself for it. Narcissa came up and put her arms around him.

"He survived, Draco. But no one must know, understand?"

"But-"

He wanted to scream it from the rooftops. This was incredible, amazing.  
SEVERUS SNAPE IS ALIVE!

"No, Draco." Lucius now stood. "That is the sacrifice."

"How...I want to know everything."

Snape nodded and signaled the couch. Draco noted his Father resumed his seat next to the brunet, their legs occasionally touching as Severus talked, explaining how he had faked his death and cured himself of Nagini’s venom.

"What happens now?" Draco asked, after much deliberation.

"I don't know." Severus and Lucius caught eyes.

"You will be safe here." Narcissa said. "Until we decide what we're going to do."  
###

"Why haven't we ever been to South America, Father?" Draco asked. He lay, snuggled up on the couch, a travel guide before him. In the past few weeks, he'd been considering more and more just getting away from everyone and everything. It went beyond the manor. In the aftermath of the war, England, itself, was depressing him beyond belief.

"Because it's a dirty, smelly place, Draco. Believe me, you don't want to go there. Have you been, Severus?"

"No, Lucius." Said the man sitting opposite, curled up with a book of his own. Narcissa was out for the third night in a row, now spending a lot of time with Kingsley Shacklebolt. Draco, on his part liked the man. He was amusing, smart and elegant. The more Draco thought of it, the more he realised this had been going on for a while. A very long while. Lucius didn't seem the least fazed. Not with Severus Snape at his side.

This was also part reason why he wanted to leave the country. He had no problem with his parent’s apparent sexual indifference to each other. They had always taken lovers, since he could remember. But that they loved each other, he had no doubt.

Snape was his Father's true love, however. This was becoming more and more obvious now that the man was living with them. Indeed, he often caught one staring at the other, in almost adoration.

As much as he tried to switch off his feelings for Severus, he couldn't. It broke his heart to see they way his eyes lit up when his Father entered the room. He wanted Snape to be happy. If it meant he was rejected, then so be it.

"Then there's no reason to give me such a dirty look, then is there?" Lucius asked Snape.

"I simply assumed you didn't like South America because it was poor." Snape retorted back.

Lucius scowled but said nothing.

"Well, it looks interesting to me." Draco said, looking down at his book once more.

###

"Sev! Sev! Sev!" Lucius threw his head back, revealing his long, pale neck. Severus built up speed as he thrust into the tight heat...

And grunted as his come spurted all over the shower wall. Severus took a deep breath, feeling the shower water fall over him. He winced and wiped the off-white substance off the tiles with his hands. Sirius had been right about many things, not the least of being the lack of sex life, now, forcing him to use his own hand. He didn't want to blame Lucius. Indeed, they had tried, a few times but it was clear the blond simply wasn't ready. As soon as Snape tried to use a finger to gently prepare his lover, Lucius had started panicking and knocked him off the bed. Snape had landed rather heavily onto the floor, bruising his elbow.

"I'll never be able to make love again." His lover had lamented, merely two nights before. Severus had silenced him with a kiss, ignoring the sour feeling in his own stomach.

The black-haired man shut off the shower pointing to one of the fluffy white tiles hanging opposite. It flew across the room and started to dry his body.

He stepped out of the ensuite a few minutes later. A likewise terrycloth robed Lucius sat in an armchair by the bed, sipping a glass of red wine and reading a book. Severus admired the Nordic beauty a moment, before the grey eyes looked up, lips quirking up into a smile.

"You took your time." He pointed at the book, which flew across the room to the bookcase. "Wine?"

An antique bottle poured the red liquid into a second glass.

"Of course." Severus stepped over and kissed his lover hard on the lips, taking the glass and downing it in one gulp. Lucius' brow quirked up.

"My, thirsty are we?"

"I have been a fool for so long. You were right, Lucius. I was chasing a ghost-"

"Hush, now." The blond reached up and stroked his hand along Severus' cheek. Snape grabbed the hand and kissed it. "You're here now."

"I couldn't leave you. I had to see your face, one last time. Yes, whatever happens next, I'm here now."

He put the glass down and leant in for a sating kiss, once more.

Tbc...


End file.
